Dying to Love (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 18) Read online

  What he needed was some space.

  For now, he needed to think about work. It would help him hold it together later.

  Not telling his wife was going to be hard, but he was doing her a favor. If he didn’t keep his mouth shut, she’d stress, dote, worry, and treat him as if he were sick.

  It was for the best.

  He wasn’t broken.

  This was a minor bump in the road, and he planned on treating it as such.

  “I’ll call her later.”

  When Elizabeth pulled off her blazer, there was a bruise on her arm.

  Callen immediately saw it.

  “Angel, what the hell happened?” he asked.

  “Gabe punched me.”

  The whole room looked over at him.

  “And your face?” Callen asked.

  “He hit me there too.”

  Callen turned and cracked his neck. No one missed the look on his face. There was blood in his eyes.

  “Wait a second! We were working out and doing hand-to-hand combat in the gym. She gave me one hell of a nut shot.”

  Immediately, Callen relaxed.

  He bought it. When his wife was stressed, she often headed to the gym. It made sense.

  The techs all began whispering.

  She snorted. “You should have kept that to yourself. Now everyone in here is thinking about your…”

  Callen covered her mouth.

  “Thank you. We were working off some steam. We both had issues to work through.”

  “Yeah, I’m a little irate that you left me,” Callen said, hoping onto the metal table to get comfortable.

  Before she could answer, Ethan strolled in as cool as a cucumber.

  “Elizabeth Renee LaRue Whitefox-Blackhawk,” he said. “Are you okay?”

  Callen laughed. “By the time you get to the last name, you aren’t mad anymore. That’s the problem with all her names.”

  “Yeah, yeah, blame me. It’s been a rough day,” she stated, going into Ethan’s arms. “God! I missed you, Ethan.”

  He held her. “I missed you too. I’m glad you’re safe. Thank you for not ditching your security. I’m getting too old to freak out all day long.”

  She held on, burying her face in his neck. It smelled like home, safety, and love.

  Then she looked over at Callen, and he was watching her. She couldn’t help but wonder if he hated her guts. Yes, he said he forgave her, but still…

  She’d lied to them. Elizabeth hated that.

  When Ethan released her, Callen patted the table beside him. It was something they always did. When she sat, he dropped his arm over her shoulders.

  Leaning into her body to whisper in her ear, he tried to offer her calm. “We’re fine. Stop worrying. I spoke to him, and this is in the past. Focus on the now. I trust you.”

  She took a breath of relief.

  This case was about to test everything she had, and she couldn’t have Callen hating her. She needed him. She needed her whole family.

  Chris broke the silence.

  “It’s going to take me a while to do these,” he offered. “At least two to three hours a piece, I’m looking at,” he said, checking his watch, “eight in the morning.”

  Elizabeth was going to need her ME, and that was a grueling schedule. “Gabe, can I pass the babysitter and the two little angels off to another ME to help out?”

  He stared at her. “Really? You want help?”

  “We all have kids. Those babies are about our children’s ages. I don’t want him doing it.”

  “Lyzee, I’ll be okay.”

  They all knew that was one hell of a lie.

  “No, she’s right. We have that one ME who doesn’t have kids, and loves helping. What’s his name?”

  “Stewart,” Chris offered. “Doctor Harris Stewart.”

  “I’ll message him. Will you share your lab?” he asked.

  “Absolutely. Tell him I’ll owe him one.”

  Gabe was glad he could work it out.

  Ethan was watching him. “Why are you so calm?” he asked. “You missed three meetings today. In fact, the President didn’t care that you missed three meetings.”

  “Ethan, let’s head up to my office. We have to talk.”

  He looked worried.

  “The irony here is the one person I’d most likely fire isn’t afraid of those words.”

  “He threw me around the room too.”

  “WHAT?” both men stated.

  Gabe laughed. “You’re a total bitch, and I love you.”

  Both men looked at him as if he was possessed by some evil entity.

  He’d just admitted his fondness for someone in a room full of people.

  “I’ll go, Gabe, but if you try to possess me, they will stake you,” Ethan teased.

  Gabe offered him a fist bump.

  “Let’s go, son. We have to talk.”

  Elizabeth watched them head out. She was having a very odd day and it wasn’t looking like it was going to get any better.

  “Boss, what would you like us to do?” Broderick Seaton asked, from his chair by the lab table.

  “I want you to run these two women. I want to know everything about Sharon Jones and Jody Landry. I want to know who the hell their pimp was, and I want to know where the hell they stroll. If I have to dress like a whore and do the interviews in heels, I’ll do it.”

  Callen laughed. “Don’t bet on that, Elizabeth. He’s picking up hookers. You can do it dressed as a nun.”

  “Want to be my priest? Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, or I’m about to…”

  Johanna laughed. “If there’s a hell,” she began.

  “Yeah, yeah, I have friggin’ box seats next to my sexy Native fornicators.”

  “What else, Elizabeth?” Johanna asked.

  “I want to find out if anyone bothered them. I want to find out if they had street names. Basically, my two research monkeys, I want you to run them so deep that I know about their childhoods.”

  They saluted.

  “Head home and do it there. Chris is going to start, and they can use the room.”

  “Actually, I need to see you and Chris in the lounge.”

  Chris looked up.

  “Okay, Callen James.”

  He headed that way, and Chris began ungloving and slipping out of his protective gear. When he was down to his aqua scrubs, he walked into the room they used as an office.

  Tony was in there.

  “Out, Tony,” Callen stated.

  He didn’t even argue. Callen never used that tone of voice with anyone. He was so laid back that he was in his own zip code.

  When the door closed, Callen walked over, locked it, and then faced them.

  “Hug him.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “Hug him. He’s freaked out, you’re worried, and Ethan is going to feel the tension. He didn’t get to be the boss by luck. He’s good at reading people. If you plan on keeping him out of this shitfest, you have to act normally.”

  “Callen,” she began.

  “I love you both. I love you, Elizabeth, because you are the mother of my children and my soul mate. I needed to talk to Chris to see one thing.”

  “What?” she asked.

  “When I couldn’t have you, there was an energy about me. It was desperation. I know I’ve never felt that from him. Chris stares at you with love, but not lust.”

  Callen pointed at the man. “You, Christopher Leonard…”

  What did he want to say?

  “Come here.”

  Chris didn’t hesitate. As soon as he stood in front of Callen, he hugged him. “I don’t like what happened, but I know what that loneliness is. I slept with Ethan’s girlfriend to feel. I was alone all my life. I’ve had about fifty, one-night stands to feel alive. I’m glad you had her. I’m glad she saved you, and you saved her. You’re my brother. I won’t hate you for this.”

  Chris started crying.

  Elizabeth moved closer, and she wra
pped her body around the back of him. “Oh, Christopher.”

  Callen held him. “You saved her and our child is named after you. That matters. You’re not disposable. The past is the past, and I just wanted the truth.”

  He held onto Callen.

  What could he say?

  This wasn’t what he was expecting.

  “Just be honest with me. I’ll be honest with you. That’s how a family rolls. Let’s try that from here on out.”

  Elizabeth knew why he was forgiving him. He’d been in Chris’s position at one point, and had Ethan not forgiven him, he’d be alone—family-less.

  “Don’t kick me out. I’m not ready to do this alone. I need her again—not sexually. I need to know if I fail at being a father, she’ll catch me. I need to know that you’ll catch me, Callen.”

  And that was exactly what he needed to hear.

  Elizabeth rested her head on Chris’s back. “I’m sorry I put us all in this position. I made you promise, and you kept your word. If he finds out, it’s all on me. I don’t want anyone going down for this.”

  Callen touched her face. “I protect what’s mine. I’ll take the heat.”

  “Okay,” said Chris.

  They started laughing.

  “What? He’s scary,” Chris said, referring to Ethan.

  “So, we’re all good?” Elizabeth asked.

  “Hug him.”

  Chris turned around, and when Elizabeth went into his arms, Callen watched for any telltale signs of lust. When they simply hugged, he was calm.

  “No, we are going home while our ME does the two autopsies. Chris, pizza will be there when you arrive.”

  He kissed Elizabeth on the forehead. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Christopher. Happy digging. Find me a COD, or you’re going to be walking funny.”

  She glanced over at the cane. “Funnier.”

  He laughed. “You’re a total bitch, but you’re my family and I’m lucky to have you both.”

  Callen held out his hand. “We are going home. I have the need to cuddle my babies after seeing this hot mess today,” Callen stated.

  She needed it too.

  Together, they all headed back into the morgue.

  “Did you really punch Gabriel Rothschild in the balls, Elizabeth?” Callen asked, on their way out.

  She laughed.

  “Yeah, that doesn’t sound like me at all.”

  He snorted and held the door.

  “I love you too, angel. You’re vicious and that’s so damn hot.”

  She winked at him as the door closed.

  When they were gone, Tony touched his friend’s shoulder. “What’s going on?” he asked.

  Chris lowered his voice. “Callen found out about Lyzee and me in our past.”

  His eyes went big. “I didn’t say jack shit, my friend.”

  He patted him on the back. “He just figured it out. It wasn’t anyone. It was us.”

  “What about Ethan?” he asked.

  “We aren’t telling him.”

  “Good idea. He’ll kill you, and then her.”

  Yeah, Chris was aware.

  Still, a part of him felt horrible. They were going to lie more. He wanted to come clean.

  He wanted to take his chances, but he had to defer this one to Callen and Elizabeth.

  They knew Ethan best.

  His reaction was the problem.

  Chris couldn’t help but be afraid. He didn’t want to lose his family, but fate wasn’t his friend.

  Look at his life.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Gabriel Rothschild’s

  Office

  When he got in there, he was freaked out. When he sat, and Gabe poured two bourbons and pulled out two Cubans, he was three days past freaked out right into terrified.

  This was going to be bad.

  He could tell.

  “You’re firing me, aren’t you? I didn’t do a good job, and the President has told you to shit can me. Can I go back to being an agent at least?”

  Gabe handed him a drink and lit his cigar. Then he lit Ethan’s without saying a word. Smoking and drinking was prohibited, but in his office, he could do whatever he wanted.

  He was the boss.

  Well, for a week or two until he underwent treatment. Then he was handing power over to Ethan for a little while.

  “I’m not firing you.”

  “Then what’s up because I’m worried, and when I get worried, I make up elaborate scenarios in my head.”

  “I have cancer.”

  Ethan’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “That’s why I was at the gym trying to kick the shit out of Elizabeth. I needed to feel, and she makes me work for it.”

  “Gabe, I don’t know…how do I…how bad is it?” he finally got out.

  “It’s stage one, and it was a fluke.”

  He told him everything as he smoked his cigar. Gabe didn’t leave anything out. This man was not only his family, thanks to Elizabeth, but he was also his partner of sorts. They ran the nut farm as a team, and he was going to be leaning on him to get through it.

  He was going to need his brother.

  “I’m going to be out of work for a few weeks. It may even be a few months. You’re going to be stuck here carrying the weight for both of us. I can do conference calls, and I can do phone calls, but I can’t be here. I need to know if you are ready to be director.”

  “I can pick up the slack, Gabe. You know that. I just want you to get treatment and get healthy again.”

  “Son, I’m not talking about that. If I can’t make it back, for some reason, I want to give you my job. I want you to be the boss. You’re smart, dedicated, and your family supports you.” What he wasn’t saying was Gabe wasn’t sure he wanted to come back. He’d done this for a few years, and he’d made a difference.

  This rattled him.

  He might just retire to be with his family. His kids were growing up, and he’d missed the first fifteen years of their lives.

  He couldn’t believe this.

  He was willing to walk away.

  Ethan stared at him.

  It was the best and worst day all at once. Ethan had always wanted this job, and now it was right there if Gabe didn’t come back, but this was his friend. They’d gotten close.

  “I can do it, but I know you’ll be back. You’ve got this, Gabe. We’ll help you. Is that why Livy is looking for you?”

  He sighed. “I didn’t tell her.”

  “Oh, you’re a dead man as soon as she finds out. You won’t need treatment.”

  He laughed. “Yeah, I’ve heard that today from my doctor, your wife, and now you. I just don’t want her to suffer. Being married to me is hell. I want her to be calm until the day of the procedure.”

  “I’m sorry, my friend, but lies in a marriage are bad. You need to tell her. Women are emotional. If you don’t tell her, bad shit will happen.”

  He hoped not.

  “I’ll think about it.”

  “What kind of cancer?” Ethan asked, pointing at his cigar. “I hope not lung, or I’m slapping that Cuban right out of your hand and into mine.”

  He snorted. “Gallbladder.”

  He told him the rest.

  “You have this. We’ll be your cheerleaders.”

  “I want to keep this quiet. My security team knows, the President knows, you and Lyzee know. You can tell Callen. That’s it.”

  “We won’t say a word, Gabe. You have my promise.”

  He held out his hand to shake his. The minute he did, Ethan hugged him. “This is nothing.”

  Gabe hoped he was right.

  Honestly, he was scared.

  Not of the cancer.

  He was afraid to tell his wife. The old model of husband was breaking down. Gabe didn’t want to lose her.

  Livy was his life.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Whitefox-Blackhawk


  Compound

  When they arrived home, they were carrying six trays of pizza, some beer, and cupcakes. Maeve was pregnant, and they were trying to feed the cravings.

  So far, she liked all things cupcake, and who were they to judge? She was carrying the next Blackhawk child, and that in itself was weirder than hell.

  Ethan and Callen were going to be brothers.

  Again.

  Only, this child was younger than Christopher Anthony. It was odd, ironic, and funny as hell all at once.

  When they had found out that Wyler had knocked up his girlfriend, and then married her, they were speechless. It was something that they never saw coming. Yes, they busted his ass, teasing him about getting her pregnant, but at forty-eight, they never saw it coming.

  Never.

  Now they were dealing with the situation. Truthfully, it was awkward to invite her into the fold. For years, it had been the four of them. Elizabeth had to let another hen into the henhouse, and the men didn’t know if she would actually do it.

  After all, she was protective of her family.

  This was her nest.

  On top of that, Wyler was like her father. Since hers was dead, he’d taken her as his own, and she treated him as such. Another woman, who just happened to get knocked up…

  Yeah, they were suspicious.

  The men couldn’t even imagine what she was thinking about all of this. For the three plus months that they’d been tiptoeing around this, she’d hadn’t said a word. Maybe they were afraid to anger the beast, but they kept their traps shut.

  Eventually, she’d crack.

  Right?

  When Callen pulled up the drive, Elizabeth was already unbuckling her seatbelt. He was sure she was going to jump out, but instead, she was on his lap.

  “Hello, wife,” he said. “Fancy meeting you here,” Callen teased. He could see the storm clouds brewing, and it scared him. She was upset, and all he really wanted was a peaceful night at home before the shit storm began.

  “Are you really okay with what you learned?” she asked him.

  “Are you really not in love with him?”

  Elizabeth knew words wouldn’t be enough. She needed Callen to understand, and there was only one way to do that.