Dying to Love (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 18) Read online

  He squeezed her hand and snorted. This was why he needed this. Elizabeth, while a menace, was the only person he really trusted. They had that bond.

  “Tell me. I’ll keep your secrets, like you keep mine.”

  “His temper scares me.”

  There was that uncomfortable pause of a man stuck between two people he liked. Then when he decided he was going with the woman’s side.

  “Has he hit you?”

  “No. He’s not violent. He’s just a storm, Gabe. If he finds out we lied, it’ll be bad.”

  “Don’t tell him.”

  “You’re advocating lying? What the hell is going on today?” she asked.

  “It’s done. You can’t undo it. Why hurt him?”

  He had a point.

  “Well, Callen knows. Right about now, he’s terrorizing Chris.”

  He laughed.

  “Stop. Why do you hate him?”

  “Why did you have sex with the nerd? I don’t get what you saw in him—or still do.”

  She shrugged. “He’s sweet, gentle, and he was my best friend. When you bailed…”

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  “It’s okay. I know you are, and it’s in the past. Chris was the only person who loved me for me. Back then, I wasn’t this ray of freaking sunshine.”

  He snorted. “The President calls you the mouth with attitude.”

  “I call him a douchebag in an expensive suit. We’re even, I guess.”

  “Why else are you in here?” he asked. “There has to be more than your worried about Chris Leonard.”

  “This case.”

  “Spill it.”

  She told him about the two hookers, the two dead kids, the one woman who was babysitting, the roses, and the letters. When she was finished, he sat up.

  “Really, you only have one choice, Elizabeth.”

  “What?”

  “You have to stop him. He’s playing a game, and you’re the only one he’s focused on. If you don’t do it, who knows who he’ll be pointed at next? You’re safe. He loves you. He’s going to want you to be his. Until it goes south, you’re in control.”

  She was aware.

  “That’s not my problem.”

  “What is?”

  She only had to say one word.

  “Ethan.”

  Yeah, that was enough.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Chris was scared out of his mind.

  Beside him, Callen sat, working on his tablet. He wasn’t saying anything to him, and that was the most unnerving part of the whole ride.

  It was as if he was waiting for the second shoe to drop—the one where Callen killed him.

  Since he’d dropped the bomb as he was working the scene, he hadn’t said another word.

  He knew it was coming. Callen wasn’t the type to threaten and not carry through. Chris only hoped it was soon. He was getting an ulcer.

  “Pull off here.”

  And here it was.

  Chris didn’t like the sound of that. “I have autopsies…”

  “They will be ready for you when you get back, Doctor Leonard. Right now, you and I have some business to discuss that pertains to a certain raven haired woman we have surprisingly a lot in common with.”

  Well, shit.

  He was dead.

  Chris pulled the tech van off the road, and into a parking lot. He was beginning to picture all the ways Callen was going to hurt him.

  Maybe he’d hide the body.

  Maybe he’d make it look like a robbery.

  Maybe he’d just kill him and own it.

  This sucked.

  He pictured broken bones, internal bleeding, and then Ethan was going to get his hands on him. Everyone knew that Callen and Ethan had no secrets.

  They were brothers.

  He was simply the odd man out. While they told him he was part of the family, and their brother, here was where that was being taken back.

  This was the moment he’d feared.

  He was screwed, and he knew it.

  “Here.”

  Chris pulled into a spot and turned off the engine. “Just kill me and get it over with.”

  “Yeah, first I want answers. Depending what you give me will depend on the rest.”

  Chris swallowed.

  “Are you still sneaking around and having sex with Elizabeth?”

  His head spun.

  “NO!”

  “Why not? She’s beautiful. Are you saying she’s not?” Callen asked, watching his eyes. They were the window to the soul, and they would tell him everything he needed to know about what was going on.

  “I’m not because we went down that road, and it nearly destroyed us. We work better like this. Elizabeth is my soul mate, but not in a relationship kind of way.”

  “Explain. I suggest you start at the beginning.”

  “I was a geek and no one even saw me. Women thought I was a joke. The lab staff made me miserable. They rode me hard, disrespecting me. Elizabeth was the only woman who ever noticed me. She protected me, and she was the one I ran to when I was worried…”

  “And?”

  “We became best friends.”

  “And?”

  “She was taken down by ‘The Butcher’ case. Our roles were reversed. She’d given me street cred, but she was no one. They tortured her. They picked on her. She cried every night. Out of me protecting her, we got close. It was more of a comfort kind of thing. Out of that hell, we had sex.”

  “How much sex are we talking?”

  He wanted to lie, but he knew he was caught. He valued his family, and he wouldn’t disrespect them.

  It was too late.

  Callen was staring at him.

  “At first, it was about relaxing after a hellish week. We’d have dinner, have sex, go out to a movie, have sex,” he paused. “Do you really want to hear this?”

  “Yes.”

  “For the first few months, we were friends with benefits, and I suggest you never use that term. She hates it.”

  “I don’t have to use it. I’m the husband with benefits trying to figure out who exactly had his hands in the benefit cookie jar.”

  Chris swallowed.

  “Continue.”

  “We woke up one morning, and it felt different.”

  “Wait.”

  He did.

  “You slept together at night?”

  “Yes.”

  “Jesus, this sounds like you were dating.”

  “We figured that out. It went from us saying we were actively looking for significant others to us just being the significant other. We started dating as in boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  “I hate this.”

  Chris stopped.

  “Continue. I want to get this over with as fast as possible.” It hurt. Callen didn’t want anyone owning a part of his wife. Now he realized why Chris held a chunk of her heart.

  He’d been intimate with her.

  “We started dating.”

  “Really dating?”

  “Yes, we had dinner, we went to movies, and we spent the holidays together.”

  Great.

  This sucked.

  “It wasn’t intentional. We went from just being friends to something more. After one date with someone else, I knocked on her door afterwards. It was pouring. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was looking for love in all the wrong places.”

  Callen listened.

  “She opened the door, and I found it.”

  He hated this. The man was being completely honest. He wanted him to lie.

  Callen wanted to hate him.

  “I was broken, battered, and damaged.”

  He got that.

  “And?”

  “We started dating as an official couple. It lasted years. I moved in, we did everything together, until it fell apart.”

  “How did it fall apart?”

  “It sucked. We fought. I got possessive. I asked where she was, I was jea
lous of other people around her. I pushed her away. It stopped being fun. Then I cheated on her.”

  Callen stared at him.

  “Are you insane?”

  “Yes, yes, I am.”

  “Why?”

  “I thought she was cheating on me, and I was angry. She wasn’t cheating. She was planning a surprise party for me. I blew it. She’d set it up at my place. I didn’t sell it after I moved in. Instead, I brought some one-night stand there.”

  “Jesus.”

  “They all jumped out to yell surprise, and here I was with another woman’s hands in my pants.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Not my finest moment. I hurt her. We broke up. It was over.”

  “And her?”

  “We stayed friends, but it was distant. I wondered if it would ever return to what it had once been. You can’t have friends with benefits, Callen. It ruins it. She’d been right. She’d warned me from the start, but I was young and horny.”

  He stared at him.

  “I’m sorry, but you wanted to know.”

  “Why did you both lie? Ethan asked you both.”

  “She and I made a pact. She never told Cyra, and I never told Ethan or you. It was our past. We needed each other to survive. The blood, the bodies, the shittiness of it all was so damn consuming. We barely made it out alive. Without each other, we wouldn’t have.”

  He understood.

  “And you’ve never touched her in a sexual way since?”

  “No. I hug her, but she’s my sister. I see that. She taught me how to be with a woman. She taught me how to be a man. I was a boy. She was my girlfriend with training wheels. Once I was able to do it alone, I did.”

  “What did you teach her?”

  Callen was curious.

  “That she was worthy of love. I taught her that she deserved someone who could treat her well. Then Ethan came along. She found him, and then you. I found Cyra, and here we are. You know the rest.”

  “When did you propose?” he asked.

  “NEVER! I told her the opposite. I couldn’t marry her. We didn’t feel like marriage material.”

  Callen relaxed.

  They’d said the same thing.

  “And you lived together?”

  “Yes, we both got sick of being alone.”

  He pulled out his tablet and ran Chris’s cell number. On the screen, he saw the text messages he’d sent.

  “You messaged four times since we arrived at the scene. What did you say?”

  He dug out his phone and handed it over.

  Callen read them.

  Elizabeth hadn’t read them, and she didn’t reply.

  She’d kept her word.

  That was all he wanted.

  “I’ll confess to Ethan if that’s what you both really want,” he offered.

  “No,” Callen stated. “I don’t want that. This needs to stay buried. You need to keep this to yourself. If you say anything, it will destroy our family,” he admitted. “I agree that our past is our past, but he won’t. He’ll see it as betrayal and take it out on her. Let it go.”

  “Really?”

  Callen nodded.

  “Really. Let’s get back. We need to work,” he offered. “You have a lot of autopsies. You’re going to be busy today and into the night.”

  “Are we still friends?” Chris asked hopefully.

  Callen stared at him. “I hate that you had sex with her, but I love that you protected her for us until we could get into her life. If you try it again, I’ll kill you myself, Chris. She’s ours. You had your fun. You can be her brother, but there’s a fine line. Remember it and don’t cross it.”

  “It wasn’t about fun, Callen.”

  “We’ve both been in her bed. What would you call it then?”

  “Survival. We were all we had,” he said, starting up the vehicle. “She’s the only person who ever loved me enough not to leave me behind.”

  Funny.

  He was counting on the same damn thing.

  “Drive.”

  Chris knew what this meant.

  His time at their home was coming to an end. Chris knew that the second this came out, he was going to have to leave.

  It sucked.

  He really loved being there.

  And now…

  He had no home and he was losing his only family.

  It sucked.

  Chris was alone again.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Gabe And Livy

  Rothschild’s Home

  When she got home, she was upset.

  Gabe wasn’t answering his cell, he still wasn’t in the office and he was nowhere to be found.

  He was dodging her.

  That meant only one thing to her.

  He had to be having an affair. At that moment, he was tucked away, cuddled up to some sexy younger woman.

  It broke her heart.

  When she arrived back at the house, the kids were still in school, and Amy was in her room. She’d taken the day off to learn to drive.

  “Hey, Mom! How’s tricks?” she asked.

  “You remind me of your Aunt Lyzee,” she said, standing in the doorway.

  “That’s not a bad thing,” Amy said, pulling her hair up into a bun on the top of her head.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Math.”

  “I’m out of here,” Livy teased.

  “Gee, thanks.”

  Livy entered and dropped a hip onto her daughter’s dresser. She was curious.

  Had she missed the signs?

  “Have you noticed anything about your dad lately? Do you think he’s been acting odd?” Livy asked.

  “He’s stressed. He walked into the wall this morning when he was texting someone. He’s such a dork. I figured he was sexting you.”

  Livy’s heart hurt.

  He wasn’t.

  God!

  She wished he was, but it was the furthest from the truth. She was so damn alone.

  “Har har. You’re funny, Amy.”

  “I try.”

  She stared up at her mom who seemed to be lost in thought over something.

  “I’m going to get back to work, Mom. I have a test tomorrow, and I have to ace it, or I’m going to fail high school.”

  “WHAT?”

  “Kidding, dork.”

  “Amelia Elizabeth Rothschild.”

  She popped in her earbuds and started to work.

  Livy headed into hers and Gabe’s bedroom. They had shared one for almost seventeen years.

  Time had flown.

  There were days when she didn’t know where it had gone. It was fleeting, and maybe that was the problem. Before, she was just a mom.

  Gabe had his career.

  Since she’d returned to the FBI, he’d been less than thrilled. She knew it.

  Here was her proof.

  Her husband was straying.

  Livy stared into the mirror, checking out her face. She knew she was getting old. She couldn’t blame him for looking elsewhere.

  She was old.

  He was distinguished.

  Maybe she should spice up their lives. Maybe she should change something in order to get his attention.

  Then again, would it matter?

  He was already cheating.

  Livy packed a bag, knowing she could always head to Elizabeth’s if she needed a place to crash. The kids would be safe here, and she knew it.

  Tonight, she was going to confront Gabe and make him tell her who the hussy was that he was sexting.

  Then she was going to do what it took to make it right.

  She was going to neuter him, and get Elizabeth to help her hunt down the woman poaching her man.

  They’d make it right.

  It was in the Girlfriend’s Code.

  Chapter Four

  Hoover Building

  Morgue

  It didn’t take her long to compose herself. She and Gabe each hit the male an
d female shower room before heading downstairs to the morgue. They knew it was going to be a long night for the team, and they’d need time to go through everything they’d pulled.

  As they walked in, everyone looked over.

  “Gee, you started the party without me?” she asked, heading for Callen. “Did you miss me?”

  He touched her face.

  Missing her wasn’t quite the word he’d use. “When we’re apart, my soul craves yours.”

  All the female techs practically swooned.

  She’d be lying if she said she didn’t too.

  “I did keep myself busy,” Callen offered. “Chris and I had to stop for a few minutes. We just got here.”

  She glanced over at the man. Chris wasn’t saying a word, and he didn’t have to either.

  He looked miserable.

  That said it all.

  She made a note to talk to him alone later. She wanted to make him feel better. She wanted to soothe that pain.

  Only Callen’s energy wasn’t so happy either.

  He wasn’t thrilled in the moment, so she wouldn’t push her luck. He needed time.

  They all did.

  “Christopher?”

  He looked up at her.

  “I’m good.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I have the women on the tables, Elizabeth. I didn’t get to cut into them yet. Are you working this one?” he asked. “Or am I passing the information off to Johanna and Brody?”

  “I’m working this one. This killer has insulted me. He’s killing babies, leaving me tokens of his crazy, and now he’s threatened my children. No one threatens my little ones and gets away with it. If he wanted my attention, he now has it.”

  The ones who hadn’t seen the other note gasped when she said that. This person had to be insane.

  No one came between the momma bird and her babies—well, and lived to tell about it.

  “I’m sorry I got sick on the scene and that I had to leave. As a mother, seeing that was hard.”

  Gabe stood there. “It’s fine, Elizabeth. We all need a moment some time.”

  “Ethan was looking for you,” Callen stated.

  “Something about your wife.”

  Gabe was aware that Livy was searching for him. She’d called his phone six times, and then tried to get Michael and Raphael.