True Justice Read online

  He needed to escape.

  He needed to run.

  Chris couldn’t do this anymore. He needed to put all of this behind him and bail—and for that, he was feeling guilty too. A part of him was broken, and a part of him wanted to escape the family to heal.

  With them, he’d have to look at Kat, Dimitri, and Emma. Every time, he’d ache, he’d be faced with how he hadn’t protected his girlfriend.

  What kind of man was he?

  When Emma’s hand touched his neck, he placed his hand over hers. Her touch broke his heart.

  His love for her…it made him bleed inside.

  He was going to have to let her go.

  Forever.

  Even though she saved him so many times, held him, and kept his life moving on, he couldn’t be near her. The only reason he was able to face his love for her was because he had Natasha. There was guilt for that too.

  Emma belonged to someone else, and he would have to let her go.

  For him.

  For her.

  He was glad to have her beside him for this, but Natasha wasn’t the only funeral today.

  His was here too.

  Chris was going to walk away.

  The choice was already made, and he’d discussed it with Greyson as he and Emma slept with him while he was mourning.

  There was no choice.

  He’d miss them both since they were both so important to him, but it was time.

  His journey in Vegas was over.

  Chris had to leave.

  So, as they all stood, and he dropped the red rose onto the casket covered with so many flowers that Natasha would have loved, he had to let them go.

  Everyone.

  He’d yet to tell Emma, but today he would. While Greyson was working on his ‘exit plan’, he’d tell her personally. She deserved that much. Emma deserved more than he could ever give her, and for that, it was time.

  Before the funeral, he sent Dimitri an email resigning from his job, and he told Greyson that he loved him, but it was time.

  He’d asked him not to go, but he’d declined.

  A few months ago, he’d offered him a new life somewhere else. He’d offered Chris a clean start as a cop in some unknown town, and he was taking it.

  Chris was heading out as soon as they got home.

  As he walked with Katerina and the family to the cars, it wasn’t behind the wheel that he headed, but to the back seat where he could watch each one of them. He wanted to remember them.

  Curtis was driving one vehicle and Greyson the other. Curtis’s wife was behind him, holding her daughter as they drove. It was totally illegal, and he didn’t have the words to muster anything but understanding.

  He got it.

  She was holding onto the one thing that gave her comfort.

  Her child.

  Sadie was a beautiful baby, and she was sweet. He’d wanted to hold her, but he couldn’t bring himself to make any attachments—not on a day where he was about to sever the ones he already had.

  Uncle Chris was leaving, and it was for the absolute best for everyone.

  He was running away.

  Greyson told him he’d get him the job, send him the information, and the details. He believed him.

  His eyes said it all.

  Greyson understood.

  Dimitri was struggling.

  Chris was bailing.

  The family…it was dead. What started as a way to clean up the most corrupt city in the US had ended with them falling apart. The bad guys had won.

  Chris was hurting deep down that it had happened.

  Only, he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t fight another day. He was all out of emotional fortitude. His well was empty. He’d let Natasha down by not marrying her. He’d let her down by making her wait when that was all she wanted in life. When he’d been at death’s door, he’d wanted one kiss from Emma, and he’d gotten it.

  Natasha wanted a husband, and he’d withheld it for stupid reasons—he wasn’t ready, and she’d lost that one gift.

  As he sat there, Paris and Tessa were in the vehicle with them, and they were both wiping their eyes.

  It was a horrible day.

  It was likely the worst day of his life.

  He’d never forget it, and yet, it was going to get so much worse. He and Emma had a date.

  A date with a very personal conversation.

  As they pulled into the gates of Terrace Glen, there was no one to rush them inside—in case there was a sniper. There was no one to worry about their safety—in case they were marked to die.

  Maybe that was why he was leaving.

  Chris couldn’t bear to see anyone else he loved die. It would end him.

  Yeah, he could keep telling himself that.

  It was a lie.

  He was leaving because he’d lost the woman who filled a void that was in him, and he couldn’t fill it with the one he really wanted.

  It was done.

  He was done.

  Chris glanced over at Emma as she walked through the courtyard toward the door. She was wearing black, her eyes were red, and her cheeks were tearstained. He wanted to comfort her, but he couldn’t.

  He couldn't comfort himself.

  His eyes moved down her body to the small bump that was there. She was starting to show, and in tighter clothes, the truth was evident.

  She was making a life.

  Greyson’s child.

  Chris knew he’d never get that opportunity to be a father. He knew that he’d never see Natasha carrying a child or anyone else. That desire was now dead.

  Like Natasha.

  Maybe that was why he didn’t touch Sadie. Maybe that was why he couldn’t bring himself to hold his dead girlfriend’s—almost fiancée’s—niece.

  So much had been stolen from him.

  From her.

  From the family.

  And it was all his fault.

  He’d failed her, and he knew it would only be time before he’d fail Emma too. If she were to die…

  He couldn’t even imagine it.

  As he stood there in front of the Croft home, it no longer felt like he belonged.

  It no longer had the lure. He didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t want to stay. He was trapped in a horrible limbo between both places.

  He’d dropped the ball.

  He’d been talking to Dimitri about proposing, and an innocent, who had suffered her whole life, died on his watch.

  Why did he ask her to bring kinky shit on that trip?

  Why did he ask her to do anything but be herself?

  That was on him.

  It was all on him.

  Heading inside, he went directly upstairs and changed. He was in a pair of jeans when there was a knock on his door.

  He knew who it was before he even asked.

  “Yes?”

  “Can I come in?” she asked.

  God.

  Emma.

  It was time, and he knew it. He’d put this off long enough. He needed to say his goodbye.

  “Yeah, honey.”

  She opened the door and peeked her head in. She could see he was not only changing, but he was packing. Her heart skipped. She was losing him, and she couldn’t stop him.

  Honestly, Emma had suspected as much. After he mourned those three days, he wouldn’t even look at her.

  He wouldn’t speak to her.

  He just wept.

  She was dead to him, and he was about to say goodbye to her, and it broke her heart.

  Only, she wouldn’t be angry. Chris had every right to leave.

  In fact, she wanted him to go. If he stayed, he’d die. Everyone they loved was marked, and they were losing this fight. In the end, she prayed they all ran.

  She prayed they all bailed.

  She’d go down with her caveman.

  She’d go down with the captain of this ship.

  “I needed to see you anyway,” he said, refusing to look over at her.

  Chris cou
ldn’t do it.

  He didn’t have the strength to watch her eyes as he broke her heart even more. While he assumed she knew, since Greyson would warn her, he still had to man up and do the right thing.

  For Emma.

  The other love of his life—the only one left standing. If he stayed, and he failed, he’d watch her die too. He couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t handle it.

  “About?” she asked.

  “I’m leaving, Emma.”

  She watched him pack his gun and his old badge. She watched him pack a picture of him and her, and then one of him and Natasha.

  “I know you are, Christopher. I know you are.”

  He heard it in her voice.

  There was that sadness. There was that betrayal of having someone you love walk away. Chris wasn’t strong enough to watch her go down or to stay and live in this festering misery. It was eating him alive.

  “I’m sorry.”

  And he was.

  The only thing he regretted more in his life was not marrying Natasha sooner, so she would have had that moment, and then followed by not being able to save her.

  He couldn’t let Emma become one of those regrets.

  “Where will you go?” she asked, still worried about him. Emma couldn’t help it. She’d worry until Viktor put a bullet in her brain.

  This was Chris.

  Had she never met Greyson but met him, she would have married him in a heartbeat. He was a good, kind man, and he was valuable to her.

  She loved him.

  Emma would miss him as her friend.

  She’d miss him as her companion.

  “I don’t know where I’m going yet, and I’ve asked him not to tell you. Greyson is handling it. Don’t look for me,” he said. “Please let me go.”

  His heart hitched as he heard her stifle that sob of having someone you love rip the carpet out from under you. He couldn’t believe he was saying it to her.

  It was cruel.

  He was breaking her heart, so she’d let him go.

  When he was dying, and she was all that stood between him and death, she didn’t give up. When Kat had come to save her, and he couldn’t climb out, she didn’t leave him.

  Emma stayed and fought.

  And he couldn’t repay her with that strength. It was all used up. He’d fought that battle for months, and he hid all of his feelings for her beneath a new relationship. Now there was nowhere to hide them.

  It was stay and face that he was going to die alone or run and never look back.

  He chose to run.

  “I understand, Christopher.”

  Did she?

  He didn’t think she did.

  He’d lost his last shot at love. He’d lost his only way through this life, and he had to walk away from people he loved. He had to walk away from her.

  “Please don’t hate me,” he said, glancing over at her. “Please don’t hate me forever.”

  His heart skipped.

  She looked so frail and broken.

  She was standing there barefoot, her red hair down, and her eyes flowing like a faucet.

  Damn it.

  His heart cracked in half, destroying what was left of it. He was now officially empty. He’d just broken Emma, and he’d always sworn he’d protect and love her.

  He’d broken that last promise.

  He’d broken that last tie to them.

  “I’m sorry, Emma.”

  “I won’t forget you,” she said. “I know you have to leave, and I accept it. Before you go, I have two things for you.”

  He waited.

  Chris wanted to hold her. He wanted to fall back onto that damn bed—the one he’d made love to Natasha in—and hold the other woman he loved.

  Only, he couldn’t.

  It was beyond mourning. When they put Natasha in the ground, he had to move on. It was his sign that the old life was dead, and he needed to find a new way to survive.

  “What?” he asked.

  She pulled a journal out of her pocket. “Kat gave this to me. It was Natasha’s. She wrote in it every night since she met you. She thought it might bring you peace. I thought it might too. Take it with you.”

  He stared at it.

  Chris didn’t want to read it. He didn’t want to go back in time, relive the relationship in her eyes, and hurt more.

  He knew what it would say.

  He loved Emma more.

  He refused to marry her.

  He’d been a bastard because he couldn’t give her his whole heart.

  Jesus.

  Why?

  “Thank you,” he said, not meaning it. The kind gesture would likely break him even more.

  Great.

  She held it out to him.

  Chris took it and tucked it into his jeans pocket.

  Emma knew she was going to have this moment and that was it, so she wanted him to know how much she loved him. She wanted him to carry a part of her with him wherever he went.

  Greyson told her he was leaving.

  She was praying he’d change his mind, but she knew this man. That cold, empty look in his eyes.

  His mind was made up.

  He was saving himself, and she was glad. He would live to fight another day. Emma only hoped he’d remember her when she was gone.

  Her and Greyson’s time was running out.

  Vegas had won.

  “What’s the second thing?” he asked.

  She told him.

  “I know you’re leaving so you can forget us and all of this, so I didn’t get you anything to say goodbye. Instead, I wanted to tell you something that you can keep for when you feel alone.”

  He watched her.

  She wiped her eyes.

  She took a deep breath.

  “Greyson and I picked the baby’s name. It’s definitely a boy. We’re naming him Maximillian Atticus Christopher Croft.”

  His heart kicked.

  Oh, Jesus.

  Why?

  “We picked one name from each uncle. I’m going to call him Mac. It’s a good, solid name. I hope he grows up to be like his uncle. I hope he loves as much as you do.”

  And that was his problem.

  While he might look tough and rough on the outside, he wasn’t. Inside, he was breakable.

  “Emma.”

  She placed her hand over her midsection.

  “We would like to have you be his godfather. We picked you because you would teach him to be a good man. It’s not that Dimitri and Dante wouldn’t, but we just thought that you have always been the best part of coming to Vegas for me.”

  “I can’t.”

  She was aware.

  He stared at her belly.

  “I figured as much. I won’t replace you. You were our first choice, and you’ll remain it.”

  His heart crumbled.

  Chris was a bastard. She was giving him a beautiful gift, and he wouldn’t even take it. What kind of person was he?

  “Thank you for that.”

  “I know you’ll forget me one day, but I won’t forget you. So the name is probably more for me.”

  It wasn’t lost on him that she hadn’t named him Gage. He assumed with how much she loved her brother that it was a given.

  “I won’t forget about you, Emma. I know I’ll never forget about you. I can’t.”

  She stared up into his eyes.

  “Forget about me. Move on, find a life, and never look back,” she said, moving toward him. Emma wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her head on the scar on his bare chest.

  “Emma.”

  “I don’t hate you. I know you, Chris. You’re a good man, and I know that you are upset. I’m telling you to leave. It’s best if you go,” she said, her heart breaking. “It’s best you run. Now it’s not on you. It’s on me. I’ll carry it for you. I need you to leave and never come back.”

  He rested his chin on the top of her head. She’d never know how much it meant to him that she’d make the sacrifice.
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br />   Chris knew what she was doing.

  Emma was taking this new guilt and keeping it from him. She was protecting him still.

  “Get a new life, settle in, and never look back,” she whispered. “We’ll never tell anyone where you are. You’ll be safe,” she said.

  “I love you,” he said. “I’ve never meant it more.”

  Emma knew he did.

  Looking up, she gave him a soft kiss on his lips. They’d shared a bond, and now it was time to sever it.

  “It’s time to fly,” she said. “It’s time for you to escape. Godspeed, Christopher Ford. Maybe we’ll cross paths in the next lifetime.”

  His heart skipped.

  “Maybe, Emma. I hope so. I hope I find you first.”

  She touched his cheek.

  “I will never forget you, Christopher Ford. I will never forget what you meant to me. You’re my brother, my best friend, and a man I love. Be safe.”

  He kissed her knuckles on her hand and held it for a few seconds longer.

  “I know I promised…”

  She stopped him.

  “I release you of your obligation and promise, Chris. I release you, so you can be free. I would do anything for the men I love. I’m giving you your freedom. Leave Las Vegas and never look back.”

  At least he was free.

  She would never be free.

  Vegas would burn to the ground around them. This was her duty to stay.

  “Emma.”

  She picked up the baseball cap that was on the dresser. She’d left it there after she got back from New York and heard the news. It had been Gage’s.

  Moving toward him, she handed it to him.

  “For my brother.”

  He ran his fingers over it.

  “Thank you.”

  “When you’re at your darkest hour, Chris, and you think that no one loves you, remember that I do. I love you, and I love you so much that I will help you escape this.”

  He pulled her into his arms.

  Then planted a kiss on her mouth.

  When she pulled away, she tried to smile. “Captain, safe travels,” she said.

  She headed toward the door.

  “Emma.”

  She stopped but didn’t look back.

  “You saved me. Now save yourself. Take your own advice. Let Vegas fall. You’re worth more alive than a martyr for this city and a lost cause.”

  It was too late.

  “I made a promise to Greyson, and I’ll stay. I have nothing left anyway.”