Unthinkable Games (LIttlemoon Investigations Book 3) Read online

  “Beckett,” she said, bringing his lips to hers. Slowly, she kissed him. Turning his head toward hers, she left kisses across his face. “I’m here.”

  He could feel her against him. It was like his body was sucking in the good coming from her. It was beating back the negative and the bad visions that he was surrounded by.

  “Claire,” he said, voice shaking. “I can’t get free,” he muttered.

  She pulled the blanket around them. “You’re safe.”

  “I don’t do well in hospitals,” he admitted, holding her tightly to his body. It was as if she was a security blanket, and if he let go, he’d slip away.

  Claire was the only one who could save him.

  “It’s okay. I’m here. You’re safe.”

  Beckett relaxed as his body was wrapped beneath the blanket and Claire. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so damn sorry,” he whispered into her hair. She didn't smell like herself. Gone was the scent of flowers. Now, it was replaced with an antiseptic smell.

  He struggled with the lack of familiarity.

  The way she smelled always made him feel so calm.

  “Don’t quit on us, Beckett,” she said, leaving more kisses across his face. “Stay with me. I want you. I forgive you for what you said. I understand that she broke you. Let me put you back together. Let me be the one who gives you your heart back.”

  She hoped her words got through.

  “Claire,” he said, so low that he could barely hear it himself.

  “I love you, Beckett. I love you with all my heart.”

  And she did.

  It was too much for him to even deal with. He’d hurt her, Beckett nearly lost Claire, and now she was giving him a second chance.

  The tears came in the dark of the hospital room. All the emotion was way too much to hold at bay.

  “Oh, Claire,” he murmured as he broke.

  “I have you, Beckett. Trust me. I have you, and I won’t ever let you fall.”

  She meant it.

  From that moment on, he was safe. He’d saved her life, and now it was time for her to return the favor.

  * * *

  Tori didn't know how long she was out. All she knew was that the darkness this time was her friend. It allowed her to hide, nurse her broken heart, and give her time to deal.

  But like all good things, that protective hiding spot was coming to an end.

  She could feel him beside her.

  Julian was right there, and she was sure he was waiting her out. There was no way he was going to leave her alone.

  “Tori, honey,” he called, holding her against his body. “It’s okay. I have you.”

  She shook in his arms. “It was all a lie, Julian. I grew up with a horrible man, and I never noticed.”

  He left kisses across her face in reassurance. “You were nothing more than a child, Victoria. It wasn’t your job to know then. He never hurt you, so to you, he wasn’t horrible.”

  She thought about the real past. Not the one her mind concocted to protect her battered soul.

  “He was cold. I can remember him never really wanting us to be happy. My father was all about the military.”

  “Maybe he wasn’t able to love, Tori. There are a million reasons why a person can hurt, and few as to why he can love.”

  She sniffled as her husband held her close.

  “He lied to Trey and me. Then you have my mother. She knew the truth but never took us with her. What’s worse? Believing she hated us and bailed or knowing she loved us and still didn't fight until the end.”

  He understood why she was so wounded over all of this. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “How do you know that?” she asked, staring into his eyes.

  “You’re not alone now. When Trey and your father died, what was your biggest fear?”

  She thought about it. “Dying by myself. I didn't want to be alone in the world.”

  “Well, now you’re not. Besides us, you also have a brother and mother out there.”

  Her heart was hurting. “She left us, Jules. I don’t know if I can forgive that. I don’t know if I want to. If I was in her place, I would have killed him to save my kids. I have never been a mother before, but instinctually, I know what I would have done. I know that I would have fought him until I won.”

  Julian kissed her cheek. “That’s because you’re very strong, Tori. Not everyone is. Your mother may have been worn down over time, and she made the wrong choice.”

  Tori said nothing. She was too upset to articulate a reply.

  Julian continued, “Remember when my mother lied to all of us about how my father died? She thought she was doing the best thing, but in the end, it wasn’t. She chose poorly too.”

  “Julian, she lied. She also stayed and loved you all. Do you think Liana would be the mother she is today without that love? No, she wouldn’t be. Or how about Connor? Do you think he’d be the great dad he is without that role model in his life?”

  He watched her.

  “Absolutely not. Or how about Justin? He’s so in love with his unborn child that he’s already buying toys and getting ready for the birth. Do you think that without your mother, he would know how to be that loving? Then there’s Claire. She’s gentle on the inside. Look at how she loves with all she has. She’s loyal to the core, and that’s something that your mother gave her.”

  “Tori.”

  “No, Julian. Then there’s you. Look at how you soothe hurt and pain. Where do you think you learned to play mother hen over your family? I’ll tell you where you got that amazing skill--your mother. She was your rock, and because of her, all five of you turned out amazing. What am I going to be like? My mother ran. What if I wake up one day and take off?”

  He never even worried about it. “Tori, you take vitamins religiously. You won’t drink an ounce of caffeine, and I hear you talking to our daughter. You’re not your mother, and neither is Beau. If you want to hate her, that’s your choice, but your brother came here because he loves you. He’s your blood. Just give him a chance. If you let him leave, you’re going to regret it. I know the woman you are beneath this pain.”

  She closed her eyes.

  “She’s dying, Tori. Beau told Justin that she doesn’t have long. Make your choice because ultimately, you’re not going to get a second chance on this one. I don’t want you to regret anything in your life.”

  “I hurt inside, Jules. I hurt so bad,” she answered.

  “What can I do for you, honey?” he asked, staring into her blue gray eyes. “Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it. I’ll find a way to make it happen.”

  “Make love to me, Jules. I’m so empty. I want to feel. Make me feel whole again.”

  He rolled over, staring down into her tear stained face. “Anything for you, Victoria. I’d die for you, because you’re the best thing in my life.”

  Pulling him down, their lips met.

  A delicious warmth spread through her. Julian always could heal her from the inside out.

  Slowly, he used his mouth and lips to offer his wife some peace. As soon as their mouths met, the love spread, filling all the aches in his heart. It helped heal the pain that he was feeling over ambushing her.

  Tori clung to him, her body pressed ever so close to his. When she wrapped her legs around his waist, sealing them together, she found some balance.

  Here was her rock.

  Because of Julian, she was able to fight past the hurt.

  “Tori, you’re strong, wonderful, and going to be a spectacular mother,” he promised. “I don’t doubt it for a second, and you shouldn’t either. You know me. I worry about everything, but this is one thing that I know you have.”

  Immediately, the tears filled her eyes.

  When one slipped down her cheek, he kissed it away.

  Knowing she needed so much more, Julian began moving lower and lower down her throat, leaving light kisses to soothe her heart.

  “You’re my sweet wife,” he whispered, making he
r laugh. When she looked up, he was grinning wickedly.

  “You’re a liar,” she replied.

  Julian went serious. “No, you really are. It astounds me that you’re making me a family. You’re growing our child. To me, that’s beyond miraculous. Tori my love, you astound me.”

  “Touch me, Julian.”

  He didn't make her wait. Slipping her shorts down her hips, he found her wearing nothing beneath. “I also love my feisty woman,” he murmured, not waiting a second longer before he took her with his mouth. While he wanted to soothe her, he also wanted to offer them both so much peace.

  It had been a rough day.

  She moaned, arching into him more so his lips could torment and tease her further. As his tongue lapped, tormented, and tickled, Tori let go of some of the pain.

  Inch by inch, Julian was filling the cold with so much pleasure.

  “More, Jules. I need more!”

  He gave her all he had, devouring her with a hunger he never thought he could fill without her. He craved his wife. Tori was that missing piece that had been found and fitted perfectly into the hole that had been in his life. Julian was sure she felt the same about him. He doubted they would work this well without that.

  As he built her up, Julian could feel her shaking at the crest of the orgasm. With a nip, he sent her tumbling over the edge.

  Tori fell into the bright spiral of light and pleasure. The pleasure filled her body, and she was able to believe in herself once more. This wouldn’t break her.

  She had this man to hold her together.

  “Tori,” he murmured, sliding up her body. “I love you,” he whispered, bringing his lips to hers.

  Together they shared a kiss, and the taste of her on his lips. The mating of mouths heated, driving the need in both of them.

  Hands wandered.

  Clothes were pulled from their bodies.

  Julian struggled to free himself fast enough. The need was overwhelming him. He wanted to take, but he also wanted to give.

  “Hurry,” she begged, staring up into his eyes as he fought with toeing off his boots. When he finally succeeded, he moved to press her deeply into the mattress.

  “Julian,” she called, luring him in with her siren’s song. With this man, he always wanted and gave all he had, and she was blessed.

  “Slow,” he murmured, knowing that she’d want fast to forget, but in this case, he wanted Tori to remember each and every stroke.

  Her flesh heated as there was the telltale nudge of his erection. Opening for him, Julian found his way home.

  Tori moaned.

  Julian fought to not thrust deeply into her body.

  Instead, it was slow and silky. The glide in and out spoke of his love and need to cater to his pregnant wife. It was like the bandage over the wound her heart had sustained.

  Now, he’d heal.

  Cater.

  Cherish.

  Love.

  As he began moving, Tori met him stroke for stroke, each one driving her wild with need.

  “Please,” she begged.

  Julian ignored her, instead bringing his mouth down to hers. What he wanted was to devour her little by little, undoing all the bound up knots inside his woman. Love would heal everything in her.

  It only needed time.

  “Oh, Julian!” she purred, loving the way his muscles bunched and moved beneath her fingers on his shoulder. He was definitely catering to ‘his wife’, and she didn't mind in the least.

  This was absolute heaven.

  When he switched the angle, driving a little deeper as he hit her in just the right spot, she shook beneath him. Once more, Tori began tumbling.

  Julian had to slide from her body, or else he was going to fall too. It was a hard fought battle, since the heat and wetness called to him.

  When his wife opened her eyes and smiled at him, he knew she was going to be okay. Deep down, Tori would forgive him for the ambush, if she hadn’t already.

  As he went to drive into her body again, she stopped him.

  “No, Jules.”

  Okay, maybe she didn't forgive him.

  Well crap!

  “I want to show you what lives in me too.” Wiggling out from beneath him, she rolled him to his back. Tori loved riding Julian. It was intimate, and they could be even more connected.

  When his wife mounted him, slipping him home, he was wrapped in so many different sensations.

  Here was his woman, and he adored her.

  “I love you, Jules,” she promised, beginning her ride.

  As she bounced in his lap, his eyes never left hers. “God, Tori,” he whispered, holding her hips as she brought them both pleasure.

  She loved watching Julian’s face. When he sat up, bringing her mouth close to his, she joined them lips to lips. The entire kiss, the ride never ended, binding them closer through the passion shared through the mating of mouths.

  Both fell into the heat as tongues tangled, mingled, and did mind blowing things against each other.

  When Julian felt his wife begin to shake, he let himself go with her to the edge. With one last drop down onto his erection, Tori shattered apart, taking him with her for the ride.

  As they fell, they remained wrapped in each other’s arms. As the bliss faded, he released her mouth.

  “Do you feel better?” he asked, tucking the stray strands of red hair behind her ears and off her neck, so he could lovingly leave kisses there.

  “No, I’m still confused. I want to be so mad. I want to hate them,” she whispered. “Where is he?”

  “Justin put him in one of the rooms for the night, and he took another. They wanted to give you time. Maybe that was wise, and you should sleep on it, Tori. Then, you’ll be ready to have a discussion with him.”

  “Maybe,” she said softly, letting the exhaustion take her. For now, she’d sleep. In the morning, she knew she’d have to make a decision.

  Would she take the high road, or the one that would give her immediate gratification?

  It was tough.

  Honestly, she didn't know what to do.

  * * *

  Tuesday Morning

  While Julian was showering, she faked being asleep. What she wanted was to find her brother. They shared blood, and now they needed to share a conversation. She’d made up her mind, and she wasn’t proud of it.

  Julian had taken the path he thought best when he had been betrayed by his mother, but she wasn’t Julian. Maybe he was just a better person, and possibly that’s why she wanted to do this alone.

  She didn't want him to judge her, or try and change her mind.

  This had to be done, and then she could let it go.

  It was time to move on.

  Julian had his blood ties, and she had hers, and this was her decision to make. God help her, but she needed to stand firm and do what her heart told her was right for her.

  Heading down to the kitchen, she figured he would be there. Since he wasn’t in his room, this was the last place he could be.

  When Tori walked in, she found the man who called himself brother, sitting at the counter spinning an empty mug. He looked miserable and like he’d failed his mission.

  Tori’s heart skipped when she saw him stand to get more coffee. He was in military fatigues, and reminded her so much of the man she lost.

  The one who had helped raise her.

  Train her.

  Mentor her.

  The man before her was the spitting image of Trey, so much so, that it squeezed her heart.

  “Beau?” she called softly.

  He jumped at her voice. He’d never even noticed that she was there. Somehow, she managed to sneak up on him.

  “Hey.”

  She entered the kitchen, a mission on her mind and nothing else. She needed to get this done. “I need to talk with you.”

  “I’m sorry!” he blurted, his face miserable with pain. “Had I known that coming into your life would have hurt you like this, I would have stayed away. I
wouldn’t have walked back in to break you like this. I was selfish. I wanted my sister. After not knowing about you for thirty two years, all I wanted was the chance to not be so alone on this miserable rock. I thought that I could convince you that I had a place in your life, and I see that I was wrong. Some things aren’t meant to be.”

  She understood.

  After all, she’d lived like that for five years when Trey had been killed and her father had died.

  “You may hate her, Victoria, but I can’t. Trust me when I say that I’m very angry with her. What she did was wrong. She lied, she left, and she made poor choices, but how am I supposed to be angry with a woman who sacrificed two kids so I could be born. She saved me, and maybe you don’t understand that, but it had to be hard for her. It would have been easier to kill me than to save me.”

  She placed her hand over her midsection. “I do understand, Beau. I’m pregnant with Julian’s and my first child. I understand that she wanted to save you. I know that in that moment, she made a snap decision and picked you over us. I can forgive that. I can understand that she was afraid, but I can’t forgive what she did after that. She should have called the cops. In that moment of terror, she should have left and went to the police. She didn't fight very hard for us, Beau, because it was difficult. That’s the part that I can’t and won’t accept. The best things in life are the ones you fight the hardest for. She didn't do that, and I can’t forgive or understand her thinking.”

  He stared at her, his hope drifting away.

  “I won’t accept her back into my life. As a mother to be, I wouldn’t sacrifice one child for another. I wouldn’t be that weak. I wouldn’t be that willing to disappear. I would have fought to the death to get my other two kids. She isn't as innocent as you make her sound. Like it or not, she was a coward.”

  He lifted a brow.

  “He shipped out a few times, and Trey had to take care of us. He raised me, and she could have snuck in and took us back. She could have made a move to have us, legally, but she didn't. There were numerous opportunities where she could have petitioned the court claiming that we needed stability. She never did.”

  “No, I guess that she didn't.”