Discarded by Fate Read online

  He hung up and then went back to staring out the window as if his father wasn’t even there.

  That lasted a whole fifteen seconds before Wyler finally cracked and spoke.

  “Are Callen and Elizabeth okay?” Wyler asked.

  “No. Some psycho left a woman strung together with various parts on their couch. She looked like some twisted marionette, and he called her out. He’s gunning for her, and I’m here.”

  “You should go.”

  “I am after you hold your son and leave. I have to do a notify here in DC before I catch my flight in the morning. Hopefully, nothing will happen overnight until I can get there. OUR family has been through enough the last few weeks. We don’t need the kids to lose Elizabeth or Callen now too. They’re heartbroken enough.”

  Wyler said nothing.

  “Sir, we’re here,” the driver said, rolling down the window. “Do you need me the rest of tonight?”

  “No, Paul, I don’t. You can head out. Gabe is coming for me later. I do need a ride to the airport after the morning routine. Can you pick me up around eight? I have to make sure the boys get off to school, and Cat needs to be dropped off for reading day at the library. It’s crazy hat day, and she likely won’t fit in the car. It might be faster if we took them all at once. Besides, who knows what she’ll come up with for her hat?”

  The man laughed.

  “I’ll expect pink glitter, unicorns, and glue all over the back, sir. For tomorrow, you might want to switch from black suits.”

  He laughed too.

  It was so true.

  “Yeah, I may go with that. It’s Catherine. If there’s not glitter, it’s not fabulous—so fanciful and practical all at once.”

  The man rolled up the window.

  Again, Ethan went back to saying nothing, and again, Wyler broke the silence.

  “Who watches them now?”

  “Gabe sent us his nanny. She’s accustomed to big broods, and she’s doing just fine.”

  “I see.”

  “I don’t think you see at all. You forced this on all of us. Had you not bailed on us with an infant and six other small kids, we wouldn’t have had to find some stranger to raise them.”

  He was aware.

  Leaving those kids was his only choice. He was going to die, and he didn’t want them to watch. The guilt…it was incredible. Out of his anger, he found a scapegoat in Elizabeth.

  It had been wrong, but he needed to be angry or he would have taken his life.

  He’d lost another wife.

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  Ethan shrugged. “Sorry doesn’t fix it. We all have careers. It’s what puts a roof over our head, and this limo under our asses. We all had to make sacrifices, and in order to help people, and do our jobs, we have to allow our kids to be watched by someone we barely know. I mean, what could possibly happen? If she wants to quit, at least she’ll give us two weeks’ notice.”

  Wyler got it.

  He’d royally screwed up on this one. He was just so hurt and broken.

  “Did Maeve really betray Elizabeth?” he asked softly, unable to look over at his son. If what he said was right, he’d really crossed a line, and so had Maeve.

  “First, I have a question.”

  He glanced over. “Yes?”

  “Had Bonnie taken you, and she’d offered you the choice between living and betraying Elizabeth, or dying and protecting her, what would you have done?”

  Wyler didn’t have to think about it.

  “I would have died. I would protect Elizabeth with my life.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “She is my child.”

  Ethan stared at him. “As would anyone. I get the anger, Wyler, but it’s misplaced. Maeve…she didn’t deserve to die, but she had a choice and she could have cost those babies their mother. Elizabeth isn’t just a Fed. She’s the only thing that holds us together. I was a mess until her. She’s the one who saved you from being blamed for being a killer, and the reason I let you back into my life.”

  Oh, he was aware.

  “Callen was on a one-way track to HIV or dying from a crushed soul. She saved him too.”

  He wiped his eyes.

  Ethan pulled out the letter his grandfather had left him, and he handed it to the man. “Read it.”

  He did.

  When he was finished, he looked up. “Why did you share this? It was your personal time with my father.”

  “Did you get a letter about Maeve?” he asked.

  The man shook his head.

  “Remember when Callen gave the Blackhawk family ring to Desdemona? He refused to add her to the totem for a reason. She was a bridge that led to something else. She wasn’t meant to be. Maybe, Dad, this is your bridge—only, you choose where it leads.”

  “I just can’t believe Maeve did that. She was sweet. She really loved Elizabeth.”

  Yeah, because Wyler did—not because she genuinely did. It was clear in the last few days she’d become disenchanted with their lives.

  Being a Blackhawk wasn’t easy.

  Ethan had a way of proving it to his father, so he pulled out his phone.

  He made a call.

  “Ivan, you’re on speaker phone. How are things there?” he asked, getting an update first.

  “Well, the boss lady is on a tear, but she’s safe, and Callen’s security detail is following them. I got into some spider webs and mold, so I’m at the new hotel showering.”

  “That sounds about right for a case my wife is working. You should get hazard pay.”

  He laughed. “Tell me about it. What’s up?” he asked, knowing he wouldn’t call for just this. Ivan had sent him an update twenty minutes ago on his wife.

  “My father is here.”

  “Oh, you found him?”

  “Yeah, I did, but I need a favor. While you wouldn’t tell me what happened in the woods, and I had to hear it from Elizabeth, I want you to tell him.”

  “Sir.”

  “Please, Ivan. The cat is out of the bag, and Wyler needs to hear it from someone who is objective and not his blood.”

  “Okay,” he said, finally giving in.

  “That night in Salem, when you went into the trees with Elizabeth, what happened?”

  “She went in with the intent of trading herself for Maeve. Elizabeth was going to hand herself over to save the woman. She said goodbye to you and Callen, and she was going to do anything she could to save her.”

  Ethan wanted to be sick.

  “What happened?” he asked, despite that rising bile in his gut.

  “When we arrived, Maeve was tied to the tree. We found out that she had made a deal with Bonnie. She actually believed the woman would keep her word.”

  Well, so much for that.

  “What was the deal?” Wyler asked. He knew the man was loyal to his son and Elizabeth, but he would never lie. Ivan wasn’t like that.

  “If she lured Elizabeth there so she could be killed, Maeve would walk free with your baby.”

  Ethan watched his father.

  His eyes filled with tears.

  “Then what happened?”

  “Elizabeth found out about the betrayal, and she still offered herself up. We heard the gunshot, and we both expected it to be her. Only, it wasn’t. Bonnie shot Maeve in the heart. We had to save the baby or chase her. Elizabeth opted to save the child. She cut him free, we got him to breathe, and you know the rest. We made it back to the house to get your son out of danger.”

  Wyler wanted to weep.

  He’d really screwed up.

  “Thank you, Ivan. Enjoy your night. Be safe.”

  Blackhawk hung up.

  “That’s what happened. That’s what you didn’t see that night that changed everything. For four weeks, she’s barely been functioning. She was coming out of what I did to her, and then she lost you.”

  Wyler wiped his eyes.

  “Your wife, a woman we opened our home to, betrayed her. She still offered up he
r life. She would have died so your wife could live. That’s love, Wyler. It wasn’t for Maeve because believe it or not, Elizabeth has feelings. She’d had your wife turn on her, and she’d walked into a sick trap. My wife was going to die so yours would live, and you have the audacity to call Elizabeth ‘HER’ like she’s committed some sin.”

  Ethan was right.

  He’d committed a horrible sin against a woman who loved him. She considered him her father, and he’d turned his back on her. At one point, he wouldn’t have let that happen.

  Elizabeth had been his.

  “I’m sorry. I let a woman come between my family again.”

  “Yes, so you keep saying. This might be the universe trying to tell you something, Wyler. You keep letting your dick lead the way, and that’s not how you should be. When my mother was pregnant, you were bored and wanted attention. You slept with Charlene. We all know how that ended. Then you had a calm, peaceful life with us, and you started screwing Bly. She wanted to get married. Why didn’t you?”

  “I didn’t want to marry her. I didn’t want to get married again. What I said was true. I had my one shot at true love.”

  “Okay, then you began screwing Maeve. Why did you marry her?”

  “Because I didn’t want to ruin another child’s life,” he admitted.

  “Did you want to marry her?” he asked, trying to understand his father.

  “No. I did it to do the right thing.”

  “A pregnancy is NOT a reason to get married, Dad. It’s a bad idea on all counts. Look where it led us.”

  He got it.

  Once more, he’d screwed up.

  “Can I see the kids?”

  Ethan knew that was his father’s way of internalizing so he could work it out in his mind.

  He’d let him have some time.

  As for his kids, here came part three of the plan.

  They had the pickup.

  The intervention.

  Now the set up.

  “If they’re home. The boys have karate, Cat has art class, and the nanny, Beatrice, is expecting a doctor to come to check on Bethe.”

  “Is she sick?”

  “She’s had a fever for a few days.”

  When the driver opened the door, Ethan got out and headed toward the house. Wyler followed along, saying nothing more. When they went in, the place was spotless.

  As in there was not a sign of a child to be found.

  Wyler was horrified.

  It looked like some home in a magazine, not one where a family lived.

  “She seems to have it under control,” he said.

  “We have extra housekeepers now. The nanny’s job is to watch the kids. She doesn’t play with them, she doesn’t teach them about their heritage. She watches them. That’s her duty. They are a paycheck to her.”

  “Jesus,” Wyler muttered when he saw the chore chart taped to the refrigerator. There were punishments listed.

  What had gone on?

  “Let’s go see your son,” he said, dropping his messenger bag on the counter.

  Wyler followed Ethan up the stairs and toward a room that had once been a guest room. When he pushed open the door, he took off his suit jacket and found Timothy Jackson James sleeping in his crib. His pacifier was in his mouth, and he was wearing a teddy bear sleeper.

  Wyler stared at him.

  “That was Christopher Anthony’s.”

  “Yes, we didn’t get to buy him anything yet. Our lives are chaos.”

  It was a lie.

  This was all part of the plan. He wanted to see if his father would have ANY attachment to the child.

  He needed to see that glimmer.

  “Have a seat,” Ethan said, picking the boy up to cuddle him. He rocked him, and then left a kiss on his black hair. “Shhhh, I’m here, TJ. I’m here,” he whispered when the baby whimpered.

  Sounds and motions startled him.

  “His right is his good ear. The left one is the one he lost his hearing in. So, try not to be loud by his right ear. It startles him,” Ethan warned.

  That broke Wyler’s heart.

  The boy was already struggling.

  Wyler sat, and he stared at the baby. His heart ached. He’d left the child, and he didn’t deserve to be in his life.

  “He’s underweight yet. They say because he was born early, he can’t handle formula. He gets a special one, and we actually have breastmilk sent to us from the bank. Elizabeth tried pumping to get her milk to come back in, but it didn’t work.”

  “Why would she do that?” he asked.

  “Because she loves him. She didn’t carry TJ, but she saved him. He’s already hers.”

  “He’s so small,” Wyler said, watching his son hold the baby.

  “He’s technically a preemie, but he’s a fighter. My brother is damn tenacious,” Ethan said, cuddling the child.

  Wyler wiped his eyes. His father had raised good men, and he only wished he’d been part of that.

  “Can I hold him?” he asked.

  “Yes, you can.”

  Ethan handed him to his father, and the man stared down at him. He was so damn small. He was sucking away on his pacifier and staring up at him.

  “I’m going to change, and then I’ll be back. Say your goodbyes to your son. Once you’re gone, you won’t be back. I won’t let you yo-yo back and forth into his life, breaking him. He’s going to grow up loved—and not a neurotic mess like Callen and myself. He is already at a disadvantage. We’re looking into what options we can have to help him. We want to save his hearing.”

  Wyler spoke to him in his Native tongue.

  When he looked up, Ethan had tears in his eyes at what he said. Wyler had told the boy he loved him.

  What wouldn’t he have done for those three words when he was a boy. It would have changed everything.

  “Are you okay?” Wyler asked.

  “No, I’m not. I wish we would have been enough for you,” he said. “All our lives, we only wanted to be loved by you. I would have given anything to have had you love me like you did when he was in Maeve. We watched you talk to him while he was growing in her, and we wondered why you didn’t love us like that? We wondered what our sins had been—still, we’re happy for him. He was loved by his father, and when I become that man, I will love him too.”

  That truth really hurt.

  He’d been absent, and he was heading down that road again.

  Wyler began crying.

  “Why weren’t we enough, Dad? Why?” he asked, refusing to break any more for this man.

  “It wasn’t you.”

  “No, or Callen, or TJ. Yet here we are, trying to put our lives back together. I’m sorry I even hired Maeve. I’m sorry I let her into our lives. I might not have my brother, but at least my kids wouldn’t be heartbroken. They would have their grandfather.”

  Ethan headed toward the door. “I’ll get TJ after I shower and change, and then you’re free to go.”

  “I have nowhere to go.”

  Ethan stopped. “That’s your fault, now isn’t it?”

  “I left all my things in Damascus. I don’t even have my wallet.”

  “Then you can stay tonight, but tomorrow, I’ll get you on a flight back to the love of your life.”

  “I don’t love Bly.”

  “I meant your mistresses, booze and selfishness. We all know you’re not capable of loving anyone but alcohol and yourself. You proved it.”

  With that, he was gone.

  Wyler sat there, holding his son. He stared down into his face and he had a tiny little nose. It was Maeve’s nose, but the rest of him…

  He looked like Ethan and Callen.

  “I’m sorry, Timothy Jackson James. I’m so sorry that I left you. I’m glad you won’t remember me. I’m glad that Ethan is going to raise you as his own. You deserve someone who will never run. That’s not me.”

  The baby began fussing.

  “I don’t know what to do,” he said, rocking him. Oh, he knew bab
ies. He just didn’t know THIS baby. “I’m sorry, Maeve. I never thought you’d go first. I figured I was an old man. I would be the first to pass.”

  He studied his child as TJ stared up at him.

  “Our son is beautiful,” he said. “I’m sorry about what happened. I forgive you for the choice you made. You had to be scared. You wanted him to live. I don’t hate you.”

  TJ sucked on his binkie. There was a mustache on it, and it made him look…silly.

  This had to be Callen’s doing.

  Wyler’s heart hurt.

  “I wish she took me,” he admitted. “I would have died and then you would be here for our son. I’m a failure,” he whispered.

  Then, he stared at the mobile over his son’s crib.

  It was moving.

  Only, there was no breeze in the room, and it hadn’t been doing that before.

  “Dad?” he asked.

  There was silence.

  “Are you here?”

  The mobile shook.

  “What do I do, Dad? I need you. I don’t know what I should do. I’m going to screw it up. Look at my life.”

  He listened to the room and all he heard was his son sucking on his pacifier.

  “I have to work on this one on my own, don’t I? he asked.

  The mobile shook.

  “I got it.”

  TJ whimpered, again, and began fussing. He knew what that meant.

  Someone was hungry.

  Wyler got up and his heart actually hurt. He actually wanted to die. When Maeve died because he’d dragged her into his cursed life, he wanted to hide. Now he wanted to perish.

  Why not?

  He was pretty sure he was going to die of a broken heart the second he left. There was no redemption here. He’d discarded his life, and fate was now in control.

  All because of himself.

  Carefully holding TJ, Wyler went down into the kitchen. In it, there was a completely different woman.

  “Uh, is Marjorie here?”

  “No, she left for the day. I’m the night shift housekeeper. Is the baby hungry?” she asked, going to the freezer. “I’ll feed him since Beatrice isn’t here. He’s a little love. I want to give him kisses. He’s so darling and sweet.”

  He couldn’t let her do that.

  This was going to be his only chance to hold and take care of his son. After tonight, he’d hand him back to Ethan. This was his last moment to be with his and Maeve’s child. His son hated him, and he couldn’t blame him.