Unthinkable Games (LIttlemoon Investigations Book 3) Page 20

  “Where are you going?” Tori asked, curiously watching him. There was a strange look on his face, and honestly, it was beginning to worry her.

  “I’m sorry, Victoria,” Julian said softly, “but we have company.”

  She stood, not understanding what he was talking about. When he opened the front door, there stood Justin. Instead of happiness, Tori was confused as hell.

  Did her husband call in backup?

  Without telling her?

  “Is everything all right?” she asked, as Justin headed right toward her. When he hugged her, Tori got freaked out. His body was tense.

  Then, over his shoulder, she saw him.

  “Oh God!” she whispered, looking from man to man to man. She struggled to break free from Justin’s embrace, but he wouldn’t let her go.

  This was beyond bad.

  Everything in her went cold and dead.

  “Tori, you need to hear what he has to say,” stated Justin, taking the heat for his brother. “I had to bring him. It’s that damn important.”

  Her stomach rolled, and Tori already felt the emotion welling up. They wouldn’t have brought her brother here unless there was something so bad that it couldn’t wait.

  They ambushed her.

  It couldn’t, and wouldn’t, have been done lightly.

  “Jules?” she asked as he moved toward her. When he took her hand in his, she could tell that he was just as worried as she was.

  “I’m sorry, honey. I’m so damn sorry that we had to do this here and now.”

  Tori knew it was about to begin.

  She found some inner strength.

  “Fine. Then let’s get it done.”

  ~ Chapter Twelve ~

  Beckett Rand was generally a patient person, but he couldn’t wait any longer to see Claire. In all honesty, he wanted to get this over with. He was going to go in, say he was sorry, and leave before she could tell him he was a huge mistake.

  While he handed those horrible words to her, there was no way he could handle having them thrown back into his face. He’d already experienced them twice in his life. Once was when his parents disowned him, for causing his brother’s death, and then when his ex-wife went for the kill shot to his heart.

  Those days had been brutal.

  Here, he’d turned around, doing the same to Claire, so he needed to escape before she could break him.

  He’d fucked it up, and he’d walk away. This would be his cross to bear the rest of his life.

  Yes, Julian was right.

  He was a coward.

  Beckett just couldn’t stay and fight anymore.

  All his adult life, when he found happiness, it was stolen away. Now, he’d forced fate’s hand, and once more it was bound to slip from his fingers.

  This time, Beckett was putting his tail between his legs and escaping with what he had left of his heart. Although, without Claire, was there a point? He had that little taste of love, and now it was gone from his life.

  It was time to face the facts. He was left out in the cold, like now with the hospital room.

  He wasn’t family.

  To her and the world, he was nothing.

  Waiting until the shift change and for the nurses to leave, Beckett bode his time. As soon as they were gone, he was going to lie his ass off to get into the room. Claire had once told him that she thought he had some Native blood, thanks to his cheekbones and hair, so this was going to be the test.

  He was going to proclaim that he was her brother, if asked. It was time to sneak in and say his goodbyes.

  When the moment came, he timed it perfectly. Once inside the quiet of her room, he was caught completely off guard. While he knew she was hurt, Beckett wasn’t expecting what he saw.

  In the center of the hospital bed was Claire, and she looked like hell. Her normally tan flesh was pale. It scared him that her chest rose and fell shallowly. He almost wanted to go to her, placing his hand over her heart to feel a beat.

  Everything in him quaked in pain as the overwhelming need to run filled him.

  He longed to escape.

  Beckett truly believed that he was going to be sick. His actions had caused her this pain. The lovely Claire was here because of him.

  As he started backing up to leave, she opened her eyes. “Beck?” she called softly.

  He was caught.

  There was no way he could back out now.

  “Yeah, it’s me, Claire. I came to see you.”

  She struggled to sit up in bed. While he wanted to go and help her, Beckett was frozen in place. It was obvious that the meds were making her woozy.

  “I hurt,” she whispered, trying to focus on his handsome face.

  Beckett swallowed. “I know, baby. That’s why I’m here. I’m sorry I got you hurt. I didn't want this to happen to you, Claire. I’m going to leave town, because you don’t deserve to be wounded like this. I broke you. I verbally battered you, and to me, that’s just as bad as if I hit you.”

  She watched him, taking in his words. With each one, the physical pain became less and less, and the emotional hurt grew.

  This was what she feared.

  Once she woke in his arms after the water, she prayed this wouldn’t happen. He was going to abandon her. After all she gave him, he was walking away.

  “I don’t blame you for hating me, Claire. I’m sorry that you have to live through all this because of me.”

  Even through the medication, she could hear the pain in his voice and fought to heal him. “I don’t hate you, Beckett. I love you.”

  His heart flipped at her words.

  “Claire.”

  He didn't want her to say things she couldn’t possibly mean. At this point, it wouldn’t heal his heart.

  Beckett was too far gone.

  “It’s true. I fell for you the second we met. If you want to leave, I’ll let you. When you love someone this much, and they need something to be happy, you’ll swallow the pain for them. I’ll take the hurt it’ll cause, and let you go, Beckett. If you can’t be with me and don’t want to be at my side, I’ll watch you walk away.”

  He didn't know what to say.

  “I don’t want you to leave, but I understand. You’re not ready to believe in me. I hope that in your journeys, you’ll find the truth and come back to me. I have to believe that fate wouldn’t be so cruel to bring you into my life for so short a time, and then take you from me.”

  Beckett couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This couldn’t be the medication, could it? Was what Claire was professing the truth?

  “I’ll always love you. So go, Beckett. Take my heart with you. It’ll keep you safe. When you’re at your lowest, believing no one loves you, know that you have me. I can’t give it to anyone else, because it would be lies. It’s always been yours. From the first day you scowled at me, it was yours. I was yours.”

  His eyes filled with tears.

  “I’m going to go to sleep, because it doesn’t hurt there. In sleep, I won’t ache knowing I wasn’t enough to make you stay. If I knew you were going to leave me, I wouldn’t have wanted to be saved. You should have let me go in the water. It would have hurt far less.”

  The first tear slipped down his cheek at her words.

  Claire rolled to her side and into a ball. The pain was too much. Now, she had to hope he heard her.

  Understood her.

  Would return to her.

  If not, it really wouldn’t matter.

  Beckett looked around the room. There was a chair, and he was pretty sure that the horrible energy which was coming off it was going to be painful.

  But he couldn’t leave her.

  He couldn’t abandon her like this--not after everything she had just said. Inside, he was beginning to have hope. Plus, she deserved so much more than this.

  Wishing he had his gloves to offer some sort of protection, he cautiously moved toward the bed. If someone had died there, this was going to suck. Then again, he deserved the pain. For what he was
putting her through, he deserved so much suffering.

  It would be his penance.

  What was a few more hours in hell?

  Gently, Beckett took her hand in his as he braced for the wave of visions. They hit him hard, but as if she knew, instinctually, Claire’s fingers twined with his, holding his head above water.

  It offered only a little reassurance. Closing his eyes, Beckett Rand prayed morning would come.

  And fast…

  * * *

  She refused to sit idly by while her life was tossed upside down. There was no way that was going to happen. Tori knew that the news that was coming was going to be a bitch. She moved away from all of them and placed her back to the nearest wall.

  The men watched her.

  Justin saw the soldier come out.

  He recognized the way she was protecting her own flank, since they had failed at doing just that. He felt bad that they put her in this position.

  “Just say it,” she said, her eyes going stormy. “Just get it over with. I can take it.”

  Somehow, Tori suspected that was bullshit. This was going to be bad, and here it came.

  Beau moved toward her. “Our mother didn't leave you of her own free will. Our father, Lawrence Christensen, was a sadistic man who liked hurting women.”

  That was like a punch to the gut.

  It burned through her.

  Anger rose, but she refused to say a word. She couldn’t. Her tongue was tied into knots. The hate began spreading through her like a disease. It started devouring all the good that Julian had unburied in her.

  “I think you need to know that the man you loved wasn’t who he appeared to be. He was abusive, violent, and controlling.”

  “You’re a liar,” she finally replied. “My father wasn’t any of that. He took care of us. When she left, he took care of us! He was all Trey and I had left when that coward ran!”

  Julian went to move toward her, wanting to offer his wife some sort of reassurance.

  “NO!” she warned, putting more space between them. “You knew this was coming, and you didn't tell me. You didn't give me a heads up, Julian. That was just wrong. You let him come here to blindside me. I am so angry with you right now.”

  “I know what I did, Victoria, but this had to be done, and fast. It’s the only way you’ll survive it,” he said softly. “I know my wife. This is for the best. You’re strong enough to take it in one shot.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “Maybe you don’t know me well enough.” Tori doubted his faith in her. This had the potential to damage her. She was teetering on the edge, slipping away from them all.

  She knew this was going to break her. Anything that dealt with her mother would always get to her. It was the hole in her life, and here it was, swallowing her.

  Beau continued, “He was arrested multiple times for domestic abuse. You don’t remember it, Victoria, but it happened. He would constantly hurt her, and she spent most of her time afraid to fight him.”

  “No! You won’t make me hate my father. You won’t make me believe that she didn't leave me behind. Trey and I barely survived when she left. He had to raise us when she bailed on her family. You don’t get it! We had no one!”

  Both Littlemoons ached for her. Julian desperately wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her. His wife was close to breaking, and he felt guilty.

  Justin felt horrible that he’d done this. She was pregnant, and he let her get slapped with this ugly truth.

  “I spent my childhood wondering why I couldn’t be loved! Trey taught me to tie my shoes. He bought me my first fucking bra. I grew up destroyed by what she did. I went into the army on a suicide mission to get away from what died in me. Don’t make her sound like a victim! She bailed on us, and you can’t make me believe anything other than that! Whatever you’ve told them, lied about, I won’t believe it!”

  She moved across the room, giving herself space. Now, she was caged and beginning to feel threatened. Tori was fighting the panic that was building in her. Soon, she was going to slip into a blackout. She could feel it.

  If she didn’t, the anger would win and someone would get hurt. Tori could see it coming.

  Justin took over, “He didn't have to convince me, Tori. I found the proof. Do you think we wouldn’t research this first? We wanted to make sure he wasn’t lying. You’re our family, and we had to make sure it was all true.”

  She glared at him, hurt by his betrayal too. “You were supposed to have my back, Marine. You let me fall. Maybe you need a refresher course in loyalty.”

  It stung, but Justin knew that all of this had to be done. It wasn’t going to go away on its own. This wasn’t something which could be swept under the rug and forgotten.

  Beau pushed on, “He was sadistic in bed. After our mother left, he used and abused other women. She wasn’t the only one he hurt, Victoria.”

  She shook her head, her hand absently going to her stomach. “No. She was a horrible mother. She abandoned me. She lied. There’s no way he hurt people. He took me to school. When I fell, he bandaged my knee. My father was a good man, and he was the only one who loved us. No one ever saw any worth in me but him. My own mother ran from me!”

  Julian crossed to her, dying to hold Tori in his arms. He had learned to spot the signs of a blackout, and one was coming.

  “NO! Don’t touch me, Julian. Don’t you dare!”

  He stopped. This was exactly what he thought would happen. Now, he only hoped they could repair her after they broke the strong woman.

  “Tori. I love you. I hope you’ll remember that. When this is all over, I’ll hold you up, because I’m the one who cherishes you.”

  Justin held papers in his hand, offering them to her. “If you don’t believe us, here’s the proof, Tori. Read it for yourself.” While it should have bothered Justin that she didn't trust them, it didn't.

  This was soul crushing.

  Had their roles been reversed, he would be reacting far worse. When Julian had confronted him over a military friend, he had lost it and nearly destroyed a room. His sister-in-law was a trooper.

  Tori ripped the papers from his hand in anger. As she stared down at them, she recognized them immediately--they were police reports.

  Shit!

  Her eyes skimmed through and unfortunately, everything was there. They weren’t lying.

  Statutory rape.

  Assault.

  Abuse.

  It was like the man she knew was completely different. How did she not know any of this?

  “No.”

  They watched her flip through the papers. Justin and Julian knew that she wouldn’t doubt the police and military records, even when she couldn’t believe them.

  “No! This can’t be…”

  “I’m sorry, Victoria,” stated Beau. “Our mother didn't leave because she hated you. She left because she was pregnant with me. He told her that he didn't want more kids. He’d beat her to end the pregnancy, and when that didn't work, he made an appointment for an abortion. She left and hid in a shelter for battered women to get away. She didn’t leave you and Trey to start a life. She left to save mine.”

  His eyes filled with tears.

  “No! Stop!” Tori backed away from him. He had to be lying. There was no way that any of this was true. Somehow, he managed to fabricate it all.

  “Our mother made mistakes, and she knows it. She also cherished you both. She told me that the last moments she had with you was horseback riding. She told you that you looked like an angel that day. Her plan was to take you and me. She wanted to save as many of her kids as she could, but he showed up. Had he not done that, you and I would have lived with her, and Trey would have been the only one left behind.”

  She wanted to be sick.

  Right there.

  Right then.

  Beau pushed on, “The next day, she tried again, wanting to get you both out with her. She had every intention of saving you both, but he was in the military. It was a different time
. She couldn't do it.”

  Tori dropped the papers.

  Everyone watched them fall in a cascade to the floor.

  It was as if time move in slow motion.

  Julian saw her start to shake. Tori was about to slip into an episode. Rushing toward her, Julian caught her before she started to stumble.

  “Is she okay?” Beau asked, concern filling his eyes.

  Justin had seen it once before. “It’s the previously mentioned PTSD.”

  Julian tried to get to her. He tried to make her hear his voice, holding her to him. Worry overwhelmed him as he thought about his wife and unborn child. They needed to be okay.

  They had to be.

  Tori didn't answer.

  It was too much for her.

  The blackness came. It started sucking her under and Tori was helpless to battle it.

  In fact, this time, she didn't even try to fight.

  She wanted to escape.

  It was the only safe place.

  * * *

  Late Monday Night

  Claire fought hard against the medication. It was trying to keep her under, but she wasn’t willing to stay sedated. What she wanted was to see who was holding her hand.

  There were fingers clutching hers in a death grip.

  All she could hope was that Beckett would be there when she opened her eyes.

  Slowly, she peeked from behind her lids. Indeed, he was there. Only, he didn't look well at all. There was a fine sheen of perspiration across his forehead, and he was shaking.

  Her heart skipped.

  He was suffering.

  “Beckett?” she whispered, only to be ignored. Now, she knew why he wasn’t answering. He was battling what chased him. The energy in the objects in the room was slowly breaking through and wearing him down.

  Claire couldn’t let him suffer.

  After all, she loved him.

  Slipping her bare legs over the edge of the bed, she climbed into his lap, pulling a blanket with her.

  He still didn't respond.