Pledging to Die (An FBI/Romance Thriller Book 11) Read online

  Now, it looked like he was going to get what he wanted—Johanna Madden.

  Just as he made contact with the material of her bra, there was a knock on the door right before it swung open.

  “Johanna,” called Garland, right before she realized what she’d just interrupted. “Oh! Crap! I am so sorry! I just came to see if you’re ready for math, but it looks like you’re more into biology right now!”

  She began backing out, giggling like crazy.

  Brody closed his eyes. Well, it looked like duty called. He knew she was supposed to tag along with the sorority girls, and this was just more of the job interfering with their life.

  When Garland was gone, a flushed Johanna stared down into Brody’s eyes. “I think we should… maybe…you know.”

  He kissed her on the tip of the nose. “Yeah, I think you’re right,” he offered. “You have to follow them, and I have to follow the sick bastards at the frat house.”

  She went to move off his body, but he stopped her. “Wait.”

  “What?”

  “Can I see you tonight? There’s no party, and I’d really like to seduce you.”

  She understood. “For the job?”

  He touched her cheek. “No. For us.”

  Johanna’s heart thumped in her chest. “I’d like that very much, Brody.”

  When she got off his body, he grabbed his backpack before lifting her chin. “Be safe today, and call me if you need me.”

  With that, he left a kiss on her lips.

  “I’ll walk you out,” she offered, switching out her books. When they rode down in the elevator, they didn't speak or touch, but that feeling of intimacy was there.

  They were almost back to normal.

  Brody was so close to getting Joey back that he could taste it. Well, maybe it was Joey that was overwhelming his taste buds.

  Either way, it was a damn good day.

  Outside the dorm, he turned toward her. “I’ll pick you up around eight. I have a few things to take care of before then. If you’re scared, nervous, or need me, I’ll come running, Joey. I’ll always come if you call.”

  She didn't doubt it.

  He wanted to touch her in the worst way, but he knew outside, they were likely being studied. He began walking away, and then stopped.

  “Joey?”

  She glanced up. “Yes?”

  “Thank you for keeping the bear. That saved my heart so much pain.”

  As he headed across the quad, her pulse pounded in her ears. She was so grateful she did just that. Who knew that pink ball of fluff might actually be the key back into Brody’s heart?

  Finally, she did something right.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  When Ethan got the call, he was just leaving the president’s office. It had been unproductive, and he was irritated. Basically, the man called him out there to bitch and moan about the attention they were getting.

  When he left, Ethan wanted to twist the man’s head off.

  As his brother’s number came up on his phone, he figured it was about lunch.

  Only, it hadn’t been.

  Callen, needed help.

  Immediately, his heart began pounding in his chest, until he heard what the problem was.

  Then he laughed.

  He couldn’t help himself. Sometimes being a big brother was a scary thing, as he was always forced to worry and protect his younger sibling. Now, he was able to just relax and bust his ass.

  And that’s what he planned on doing.

  After picking up some gear for his wife at their rented place, he arrived at the motel. This was going to be fun.

  Knocking on the door, he teased them more. “Housekeeping. I hear you need some panties.”

  Callen opened the door grinning at his brother. “Don’t even go there. This wasn’t my fault. In fact, I blame both of you.”

  “I don’t see how I’m even remotely involved with this sex fest. I was working.”

  “You could have warned me about the glasses and attire, but you didn't, and this is what happens.”

  Ethan entered the room and looked around. “Wow, you went classy all the way, Cal. Here, I take her to really nice places, and you jump her in a roach coach.”

  He sucker punched his brother as he grabbed Elizabeth’s clothing.

  “She’s showering. As for the location, I was trying not to get us arrested as her head was in my lap, and I was driving. This was the best option.”

  Ethan could sympathize. “I’ve been there, so you have my utmost understanding.”

  When the bathroom door opened, there stood their woman, and she looked smug. “Lookee here. My cowboy has come to the rescue. The savage Native took me hostage.”

  Callen snorted. “Yeah, yeah, I’m the perp here. I still blame the glasses.”

  Callen tossed her the clothes Ethan had brought. “I’d come over there, but your sexy after a shower, and I don’t need to push my luck.”

  Elizabeth quickly got dressed.

  When Ethan crossed to his wife, he gave her a kiss. “I’m with Callen. You’re hot as hell.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, and you two wild men had your trip there and back. We’re on the clock,” she stated.

  Before he could focus, he noticed her throat. “Hey! Who put this mark on your neck?” Ethan asked, running his fingers over the bruised flesh.

  “Callen bit me.”

  Blackhawk laughed even more. “This is priceless. You two end up in a sleazy motel, with a hickey on her neck, and me having to bring her clothes. Way to do it up.”

  She gave him the look.

  Callen wasn’t amused anymore. He sucked up the good natured teasing, but now it was crossing the line. “Yeah, well, I’m fucked up, so what do you expect? Of course I’m going to do this in a place like this. It’s the story of my damn life.”

  They both turned to see him head for the door.

  “Callen,” she called.

  He cut her off. “There’s a café across the street. I’ll see you there.”

  When the door slammed, Ethan didn't know what to think. “What did I do?”

  Elizabeth started getting dressed. “He’s having a rough one,” she stated. She’d been to his therapy sessions and knew that Callen was having a difficult time adjusting to his preference for rough, kinkier sex. He was still relating it to his abuse as a kid. “He thinks it’s because of his past.”

  “I didn't mean to hurt him,” Ethan said, as Elizabeth slipped into her boots.

  “He’s doing battle against himself,” she offered. “The sex was exuberant, like he was trying to get lost in it.”

  Ethan let out a sigh. “Shit.”

  “We better find him, and fast.”

  She agreed. With Callen, once he began slipping, it could get way out of hand.

  They’d been there before, and the key was to swoop in and do the right thing.

  Save him from drowning in the pain.

  He was ashamed of himself.

  Not because of what he’d done with Elizabeth, but because he let the teasing get to him. Then there was the fact he’d just walked away from them.

  Callen didn't know what was wrong with him.

  Most of the time, he was perfectly fine, but then that shame would rear its ugly head, and he’d feel the need to bolt.

  Like right now.

  It took everything he had not to climb into his vehicle and head out of town. Running was easy.

  Staying was hard.

  But, he’d made Elizabeth a promise, and he wasn’t going to ever make her hurt again by running away. So, he’d suck it up and wait for the humiliation to hit.

  It shouldn’t be long now.

  He’d ordered them lunch and was waiting for them to arrive. Callen didn't know what to say. How did he explain to them that there was this deep dark pit in him, and no matter how much he tried, he wasn’t able to fill it back in? Facing his past had left him raw and empty. It was months later,
and he wasn’t getting better.

  Instead, he was sinking, and fast.

  At the sound of her boots, Callen knew they were going to be discussing it. What he really hoped was that they didn't make him feel like he was broken inside—more so than he already was.

  His lack of control caused him even more shame.

  When they sat, Ethan spoke first, “I’m sorry if I upset you. I was only teasing. I didn't think you’d get angry. Normally, we bust each other’s asses.”

  Elizabeth sat beside Callen, staring him in the eyes. “I’m here if you want to talk about it. I won’t push, but I’d really it like if you’d let us in.”

  He felt the knot unravel. They weren’t going to push the issue, but give him the choice. That one little concession helped ease the ache in his chest. “I’m sorry I bit you. I didn't mean to leave marks on you, Lyzee. I hate that I did. I hate that I’m this kind of man, and that I don’t have control.”

  Callen remembered all the marks he’d sustained as a child, and a sickness welled up in him.

  Instinctually, she ran her fingers over the scars on his arm. “I got bit by the love bug, nothing more, darlin’.”

  He fought against the pain.

  She touched his cheek. “In fact, I liked it. That was the hottest sex ever. Please don’t apologize for it. Your brother could take some lessons from you when it comes to being a sex fiend.”

  Ethan grinned. “Bite the girl. Got it.”

  Callen relaxed further, knowing what they were doing. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  She slid closer to him in the booth as the waitress dropped off their food. When she was gone, Elizabeth kissed him. It was soft and gentle.

  “There’s nothing wrong with you, Cal. You’re reading too much into it. Why can’t you just like wild sex? We’ve discussed this before. Maybe it’s just our thing.”

  “But the cheap motel,” he stated. “I should have…you deserve better. You’re not some slutty piece of ass. You’re my wife.” Maybe this bothered him because he’d done this before with countless women that he didn't even love.

  She cut him off. “You didn't do anything wrong. I loved it. While we were making love, did I seem to be having a bad time? When you were touching me, did I look appalled or turned off? Granted, the décor sucked, but if I was checking that out, wouldn’t that be a sign that the sex sucked too? I don’t even know what color the rug was.”

  “Shag,” Callen said, trying to tease, only he wasn’t feeling it.

  “You’re a far harder judge on you than we are. You keep thinking that we’re measuring you up, but we’re not. You fit in just fine. We all have our issues, Callen. You’re just super focused on yours.”

  Since Ethan set him off, it was time for him to offer the first thread of healing.

  “I was ashamed of my body for the longest time,” Ethan said, admitting something he never said out loud to his brother. “Whenever I saw myself naked with this raven on my chest, I wanted to weep. It made me feel cheap, less of a man, and like my life was fraught with mistakes. I was so ashamed when people saw it. I always thought they were judging me.”

  Callen listened to him.

  “Then I had to see myself all scarred up. That made it a million times worse. Something I hated, and then learned to love again was back to being disgusting to me. We don’t think anything is wrong with you, bro. You’re perfect for us. We love you.”

  He understood. “Thank you, Ethan,” Callen offered, so glad he had them in his life.

  Elizabeth knew it was her turn.

  “I’m afraid to get old,” she said, holding Callen’s hand. “I didn't work out like a maniac to pass my testing, I did it because I have two sexy men in my life, and I’m afraid one day I’ll turn into a frump, and you’ll both leave me.”

  That surprised Callen. “Lyzee.”

  Ethan was equally appalled. “Baby…”

  “It’s the truth. Men get more distinguished with age. When you two turned forty, the women still circled the boat. When I turned forty, my ass dropped three inches and I got stretch marks. See? We all have issues, Callen. You like wild rough sex. So? Even if it’s because of what happened to you, it’s still part of the man I choose to be with. I don’t look at Ethan’s raven and think any less of it because of a scar. I know you’ve never noticed a blemish on my body when we’re together. Why can’t this be your thing? I love everything about you, including your impulsiveness.”

  “And I love that too,” Ethan added. “I never would have thought to get a motel room. I would have over thought it, and then beat it to death in my brain. You didn't do anything wrong but feel. I envy you for being able to have a spur of the moment idea, and then going with it.”

  She held his fingers twined with hers.

  “Maybe that’s your avenue of letting it out. You let that hate and anger build, but maybe wild sex helps you cope. If you shut it off, maybe you’ll get worse. Just be you.”

  He thought about it. “I’m still sorry about the roach coach. I meant what I said. You deserve better.”

  “Ethan once went down on me in a dirty old stairwell in a hotel because he couldn’t wait to get to our room. He’s got questionable taste too.”

  “Hey!” he said, flushing red. “You swore that was our secret,” he stated. “Elizabeth! Jesus!” He looked around hoping no one heard her be so crass.

  She laughed. “Shit. My bad. Forget I said that, Cal. I promised Ethan I wouldn’t tell anyone. Woo hooo. It’s all better now, Cowboy. No one’s any the wiser.”

  Callen laughed. “Your secret is safe with me.”

  Elizabeth grinned. “Can we eat now? I’m starving. I didn't get breakfast, and I got jumped by a sexy Native. I need to refuel.”

  Blackhawk grinned at his brother. “Wow, we are actually going to talk about work,” he stated, as the waitress came by to refill their drinks.

  “Well, I’d rather talk about how Callen totally ravaged me and made my toes curl from the truly excellent orgasms, but we should focus.”

  The waitress nearly dropped the pitcher of tea.

  Ethan glared at Elizabeth, knowing he couldn’t cover her mouth from across the table. “Shhhhh.”

  “It was all because of his really big…”

  Callen jumped in, slapping his hand over her mouth. “I swear to God you’re a menace.”

  Blackhawk laughed. “Yeah, but you have to love every sick second of it.”

  And he did.

  When he released her mouth, she smiled sweetly at him. “You both seem to forget that I’m an equal opportunity offender.”

  Yeah, they were well aware.

  “Anyway, how was your appointment with the president of the university?” she asked.

  Ethan bit into his burger. “He’s concerned that the media is going to get a hint. For an hour, he tried to tell me how to do my job, including keeping you on a very short leash. Apparently, you irritated the shit out of him when you figured out he was blackmailing Gabe.”

  “Gee. I’m batting a thousand today,” she admitted. “I’m just pissing people off left and right.”

  They both stopped eating.

  “What?” they said together.

  “He’s the least of our problems,” Elizabeth stated, eating her salad. “I noticed our tech team didn't send out any emails proclaiming a big lead.”

  “Nope,” Ethan stated. “They’re still processing the trace. I’ll assume by your previous comment, that the class was enlightening.”

  She laughed.

  “What happened?” Ethan asked, eating a fry.

  “It started out really good. I was a little freaked out, but I managed to pull it all together.” She told him about Arman challenging her in front of everyone.

  Blackhawk didn't look thrilled.

  “Could he be the killer?”

  Ethan thought about it. “Yeah, he could be. He’s got a big enough ego to make it a possibility.”

  Callen shook his head. “Could
we actually know who the killer is before we even get into the case?” he asked. “Has that ever happened before?”

  Blackhawk wasn’t sure. “He might be our guy. This could be as straight forward as it seems.”

  “If it is, that’s going to suck,” Elizabeth said.

  “Why?” Callen asked. “That should make it easier. We know who the bad guy is. That’s awesome.”

  He couldn’t be more wrong.

  “It’s worse because now we have to prove it. He’ll know we’re gunning for him, and that’ll give him the advantage.”

  Callen shook his head. “Great.”

  “Plus, he’s innocent until proven guilty, and I’m betting his family will send in the high priced lawyers faster than we can even dig up the evidence.”

  “Which is more than likely going to draw attention and end up screwing Gabe in the end.”

  “So, this sucks all around,” Callen stated, putting down his burger.

  “Yep. I like normal cases so much more,” Elizabeth stated, drinking some tea to wash down her salad.

  When Callen switched their plates, she lifted a brow. “What are you doing?”

  “You’ll never be a frump, so I’ll share my burger with you. You’ll always be the hottest wife on the planet, so stop making yourself suffer.”

  She was touched. “You always were my favorite.”

  “Hey! I’m sitting right here,” Ethan objected. “You might break my heart by saying things like that.”

  She winked at him.

  “When you’re finished stroking his ego, you can feel free to stroke mine. I think I’m due.”

  She waited until he picked up his drink. “It won’t be your ego I’m stroking later, Cowboy.”

  Ethan Blackhawk started choking when everyone looked over. “Elizabeth!”

  She loved when they were all together.

  This was heaven.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  He watched her on campus, but he couldn’t spend much time gawking. He had to be careful.