Dangerous Influence (The Harcourte Vampyre Society Book 5) Page 15

  Flynn’s plan was working. His mate was refocusing. It was time to keep him off balance.

  “You should probably shower too. You’re a mess.”

  Jacques sighed. “You’re right.”

  Flynn headed toward their bathroom. Once there, he stripped out of his bloody pants. When the spray of hot water hit him, he actually moaned.

  “Are you okay?” Jacques asked, leaning against the wall.

  “Yes and no.”

  He waited.

  “Are we friends?” Flynn asked. “I don’t mean just because we’re bonded, and mates. I mean, are we really that close?”

  Jacques lifted a brow as his lathered up.

  “Yes, we are. You’re very important to me, and I thought I’d made that clear.”

  Flynn knew he needed to come clean.

  “Jolie and I have a secret.”

  Jacques stared at him. “Is this going to get my heart broken?” he asked. “Should I be worried?”

  Immediately, he waited for the betrayal and the hurt. It was instinct not to trust humans, and now he was pretty sure he was going to be blindsided.

  He shrugged. “I don’t think it should, but I’m not sure. I wanted to share it with you.”

  “Why did you keep a secret from me in the first place?” he asked. “We’re family. That means you don’t keep secrets.”

  He got that, but in this case, it was probably warranted. After his reaction, it had probably been for the best.

  “It wasn’t intentional. It started after we took that trip to the biker bar to find Patrick. Do you remember that day?”

  He listened as his mate finished his shower.

  “Yes, she nearly died.”

  “It’s your turn,” Flynn said, getting out of his way. Immediately, Jacques stripped out of his bloodied clothes.

  When he was under the water, Flynn continued, “Jolie and I were awake after you went to death. She wanted to have sex.”

  Flynn wasn’t telling him anything shocking.

  “Go on.”

  “Jolie asked me to dominate her.”

  Jacques stopped moving. “Pardon?”

  “She was turned on, and she wanted to forget for a while. She wanted to put the primus away, and just be vulnerable for a little while.”

  He stared at him.

  This wasn’t the betrayal he thought was coming.

  In a way, he was relieved and freaked out.

  “Since then, we’ve taken a little trip down Sexy Submissive Lane quite a few times. It’s usually when she’s stressed, or I’m having a bad day.”

  Jacques stared at him.

  “Wait. You’re telling me that our mate, Jolie, wanted you to dominate her—like we saw at that club?”

  He nodded. “Not as hard core, but yes, she likes when I do it.”

  “I don’t understand. I’ve been in her mind a few times, and I’ve never seen it.”

  “She didn't want you to see it.”

  Jacques looked shocked. “Why?”

  “You just flipped your shit, my friend. Think back to what you just said to her in the garage. You called it sick, and you weren’t exactly open to it.”

  He looked appalled. “Wait! That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t referring to her…”

  Flynn cut him off.

  “You referred to Mathew and the whole situation like it was a sickness. That’s why she didn't share it with you. Jolie needed someone who wouldn’t judge her.”

  “I wouldn’t ever judge her. She’s my heart. I love you both, and if it’s something you need in order to be complete, who am I to judge?”

  “You already did.”

  Jacques soaped up his torso as the water washed away his dried blood.

  “Flynn, you can’t possibly believe I’d judge either of you. Had I known…?”

  Again, Flynn interrupted. “Jolie was afraid of your response. After Goethe, she swore she’d never bow to anyone. Hell! She rides our asses hard when it comes to her being primus, but this one time, she needed to be weak.”

  “And she came to you.”

  “Yes.”

  Flynn waited for the anger. He waited for the jealousy, but it didn't come. None of it did.

  “Thank you for being there for her. It means a lot to me. I wish she would have come to me, but I understand it.”

  “Don’t take it personally, Jacques. You and Jolie have had years of a relationship. You have your own things, and she and I have ours.”

  “Is it all the time? Is it because the sex with me isn’t making her happy?” He had so many questions, and only Flynn could answer them.

  “No, it’s not all the time, and it has nothing to do with you. Jolie needs to let it all go. She needs a few moments when nothing is carried on her shoulders. The pain is pleasure, and the lack of responsibility makes her happy. She carries a lot.”

  He was aware.

  “I only want her happy. That’s the only thing I want for her. She’s my heart. I need for her to be happy.”

  “She’s not happy.”

  He looked worried.

  “What you said to her, it rattled her. Jolie is hurting right now. She’s shut us both out. You need to find her, and you need to fix this.”

  He was worried. “And if I can’t?”

  “Then I’ll try to fix it. You have to keep an open mind.”

  “I have one. I understand the principles of bondage. I just don’t enjoy tying anyone up.”

  “See where the issue is? She likes it, you don’t. That’s where I come in.”

  “And you enjoy it?” he asked, taking the towel from his mate.

  “Yeah, I really do. It’s not all the time, but sometimes, Jolie needs that decompression.”

  “I feel horrible. I wasn’t bashing the whole thing. I was adamantly voicing my opinion that she’s to stay out of that club. I don’t want her playing show and seek with Mulduk.”

  “Show and tell and hide and seek, Jacques,” Flynn offered, smiling at his mix up. He did that a lot, and it was always amusing.

  “Whatever. You know what I meant.”

  Together, they headed back into their room to dress.

  “I’m going to get into bed, and you’re going to go find Jolie. When you do, you’ll fix this.”

  “You didn't have to come here and tell me this. She’s going to be upset you did.”

  “I did have to do it. We didn't make a conscious effort to keep it a secret, Jacques, it simply happened. Now I’m making it right. You have every right to know what happens in our relationship, even if it’s when we have sex alone.”

  He pulled on some clothes. “Thank you, Flynn.”

  His mate shrugged. “It’s my job as part of this. We all have to be accountable for our relationship.”

  Jacques hugged him. “Still…thank you. I love you.”

  Flynn grinned when his mate pulled away. “I love you too, now go get the girl and make this right.”

  He would.

  Heading out, Jacques needed to figure out exactly how to do it.

  * * * H a r c o u r t e * * *

  Jolie was distraught.

  She was torn.

  The last thing she wanted was to hurt her other mate. Jacques was her everything, just like Flynn. Now he was mad, and she was afraid.

  He abhorred bondage.

  Jacques had made that crystal clear.

  Now what was she supposed to do? She didn't want him upset with her, but what she shared with Flynn mattered.

  It was special.

  She knew her human mate worried about ever being able to find that special bond with her. He wanted it more than anything and with their few stolen moments, they’d found it.

  Hell!

  For his birthday, she’d give him a night at a very similar underground bondage club. Jolie had offered herself up, and he loved it.

  Now she had to face the cold hard reality. It was something that Jacques would never want to take part in.

  Could she give it up?<
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  It scared her because she couldn’t.

  Was she sick and addicted, just like Mathew had been? Was this some downward spiral that was going to end in destruction?

  Had this ruined her relationship?

  As she sat in their den, staring at the blinking Christmas lights on the tree, she wanted to weep. Jolie craved someone’s comforting arms.

  With two mates, you’d think one would be around.

  At the approach of footfalls, she knew who it was.

  Jacques approached.

  “Jolie, my love.”

  She didn't move.

  “We need to talk.”

  She didn't turn.

  “I spoke to Flynn. He told me everything.”

  She wanted to be sick. “I see.” Actually, she wanted to be mad, but she couldn’t be. They’d said it wasn’t a secret. They weren’t really hiding it from Jacques, but now she knew it was a lie.

  Jolie had been hiding it.

  She never wanted him to see that part of her. It was something damaged in her, and she wasn’t proud of it.

  Yet, the entire thing was part of her.

  Maybe it was made and forged when Goethe entered her life, but it was there, it was real, and she didn't want to let it go.

  If he told her it stopped, Jolie would fight.

  It mattered to her.

  “You could have come to me.”

  “And said what, Jacques? I want you to tie me up and dominate me?”

  There was a pause. “Well, yes, for starters. It would have been nice to be included in that conversation.”

  “You would have been uncomfortable.”

  “Yes, I would have been. I can’t hurt you, Jolie. I can’t strike you, but I would have tried anything you asked. How many times have you met me halfway?”

  Countless, and they both knew it.

  “I understand why you went to Flynn. He’s a really good man, and he understands when it comes to what you need. We’re lucky to have him.”

  Jolie didn't turn around, instead, she wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “He is a good man. He doesn’t think I’m sick. Maybe he’s wrong.”

  It hurt him.

  Jacques hated that he’d put that thorn in her heart. It was the last thing he’d wanted to do.

  “You’re not sick. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Mulduk is sick. The game he wants to play is sick. You’re not anything close to that Jolie.”

  She didn’t reply.

  “Can I ask you something?”

  “Yes, I guess.”

  “Will this replace me? I can’t go there with you. I just can’t find it in my heart to strike you, and I won’t judge Flynn for being able to, or you for wanting it, but I need to know. Is this going to make us fall apart?”

  She glanced over her shoulder. “This is why I didn't want to tell you. A part of me feared this. My needing to call Flynn Master, and to have him dominate me, has nothing to do with you, Jacques. It has everything to do with me.”

  He listened.

  “Help me understand.”

  She wished she’d never gone there.

  This wasn’t worth it.

  “I’m in your head, Jolie, and it is worth it. We’re a couple, and you should have told me. That you didn't…it scares me. Like I have to accept that you enjoy this type of relationship, you have to accept that it frightens me. Flynn is your true mate. We all know that at any moment, you could dismiss me.”

  “I couldn’t do that, Jacques. You’re both my true mate. I need both sides of the coin to be whole. I need Flynn and I need you. This is why I stayed silent.”

  “Let me in.”

  She moved off the couch. “Fine. I’ll give you what you ask.”

  Jolie crossed to him. Touching his forehead, she flooded his mind with all of it. Every single time she and Flynn had come together.

  There was pleasure.

  There was pain.

  There was ecstasy.

  There was love.

  In the middle of it all, there was her and Flynn, wishing he could be part of that with them but knowing it would never happen. Vamps liked violence, but Jacques was empathic. He was right. He couldn’t hurt her.

  It would destroy him.

  When she moved away from him, he opened his eyes. “It’s not like that club at all.”

  She was aware.

  “Flynn does it because he loves me. I don’t know if he enjoys it, but he gives me a gift.”

  “He told me he enjoys it, and our Flynn doesn’t lie. I hope you understand my position,” Jacques offered.

  “I never wanted to keep you out, Jacques. I didn't intend to do that, but sometimes, I need something to take away the stress. It crushes down on me to the point I can’t breathe. Like now, I feel so lost. I feel like I’ve let you down. You’re half of me, and I can’t live without you, but I have to be honest. I need that kind of sex to let go.”

  He moved closer to her. “What else do you need, Jolie? What can I offer you to make the hurt stop?”

  “I love when you just hold me. I can feel the love and warmth coming from you. It’s like a warm blanket on a cold day. You can’t compete with Flynn.”

  He stared at her, his breath held as he waited to be hurt.

  “Because he can’t compete with you. Both of you bring something special to our relationship. There are moments when I need you and ones where I need him. Like yesterday, when I got home from work, I wanted to sit in your lap. You calm me. You give me sanctuary. While our sex is rough, it’s vampyre to vampyre. You can’t try to be Flynn. You have to be you.”

  “Will I be enough?”

  “You’re always enough, Jacques. You saved me. When I was lost, you reeled me in, gave me a stable ground to support myself on, and you stuck. You never broke my heart.”

  He knew that was a lie, but he understood.

  He’d left her once, and that was the only mark on his soul. He couldn’t change that, but he still wished he could.

  “Jolie, let me hold you,” he whispered. “Let me heal the hurt I’ve caused in you.”

  She stared up into his emerald green eyes. In them, she saw the worry, and she didn't want it there. Jolie wanted him to be at peace.

  “I don’t want you to think less of me because of what I need.”

  “I could never do that. You’re my mate. I respect you for being strong enough to need those moments with Flynn. I respect him for being strong enough to give them to you. I’m not strong enough to do it.”

  “You’re strong enough to admit it, Jacques, and that’s enough for me.”

  Jolie took a step toward him. When he met her halfway, her heart skipped in her chest.

  Jacques pulled her gently into his arms and found her mouth. While he couldn’t be Flynn, he could show her the man he was inside.

  Her mate.

  Gently, his mouth made love to hers. Their tongues slid and caressed each other as she held onto his shoulders. In that moment, he took his time.

  She wanted sanctuary, and he could give her that. It lived in him, and he needed to share.

  When she moaned softly into the kiss, his hand moved up her back and to her head. There, he held her in place as he wore down her defenses with just the mating of mouths.

  When she was loose and fluid against his torso, he swept her up and into his arms. Together, they moved toward the tree.

  Snapping his free fingers, the lights in the room went out, and the door locked.

  Jolie held on as he lowered them to the floor beside the tree. Her heart ached at the memory they were building. The first time they’d made love, it was very much like this.

  They’d come back from a council, bloodied and battered, and Jacques had seduced her.

  She didn't intend to have sex with him, but she wanted that touch. Jolie let it happen, and for that she was grateful.

  Jacques pulled the sweater from her body before laying her back onto the floor. As he stared down at her, he knew she remembered the moment.
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  “It was our first.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “You’d fought valiantly and earned it.”

  Jacques ran his fingers across her lips. “That wasn’t the battle. Getting you to see me was. In that moment, I wanted to cherish you—like I do now. Let me show you, Jolie. Let me make love to my mate.”

  Her heart skipped. “See? This is why you don’t have to compete, Jacques. You have a gift, and it’s your heart.”

  He was touched. “Then let’s relive that Christmas together, shall we?”

  She nodded as his mouth met hers. All the while kissing her, his hands freed her from her pants. As he shoved them down, he left a trail of fire down her flesh with his wandering fingers.

  Jolie arched into his body when he found the wetness between her legs. Here was proof. He was part of her. Jolie only responded to those two men.

  “Oh, my love,” he whispered, freeing her mouth to kiss down her flesh. “I can’t help but fall for you again and again.”

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  He’d said something very similar that first time.

  Sliding down her body, he kissed her in random spots, but they weren’t so random.

  He’d done this before.

  “Oh, Jacques.”

  When he arrived at her panties, he slid them down her pale legs. “Back then, you weren’t wearing any, but I’ll have to make this up as I go.”

  She smiled at him.

  It was genuine and filled with warmth.

  “Do you remember what I said?” she asked.

  “You asked me if I was going to hurt you. At first, I thought you meant the sex, but now I know what you really meant. You hadn’t let anyone touch you for so many years. Goethe broke you, and you didn't want to lose your heart.”

  Tears spilled over.

  Jacques kissed them away.

  “I did lose my heart. On that day, I gave it to you.”

  He was aware.

  It had taken centuries to figure it out, but from that day on, she’d been his.

  “Can I touch you, my love? Are you ready to begin this adventure?”

  She recalled those very words.

  When she nodded, he didn't hesitate. Jacques kissed her again, their tongues tangling in heat and lust, but it didn't stop there. Slowly, he traversed her body, dipping lower and lower. As he crossed the plane of her flat belly, he circled the indentation with his tongue.