Discarded by Fate Read online

  Hopping out of the ride, he headed to the door. Once there, his heart was thumping.

  He missed Timothy so much.

  He wished they could have him back for just one day. There was so much he wanted to tell the man.

  So.

  Damn.

  Much.

  As he unlocked the old wood door, he was hit with the scent of his grandfather. It was sage, it was sandalwood, and it was the most precious thing to him.

  The memories flooded back.

  “I’m home,” he said, after he closed the door. “I’ve stopped back in to see the place, Granddad.”

  Of course there was no reply.

  “I miss you, Granddad. God! I miss you so much. Life has sucked a little more since you left us, but I wanted you to know that we’re okay. I saved my ass when it came to Elizabeth, and we are taking care of your son. Again, Wyler has let the family down. We tried our best to love him, but I don’t know how much more I can give. I’m exhausted.”

  He was also so damn angry.

  “Wyler is back on the booze again, but I’m sure you know that. He knocked a woman up, and when the going got tough, he bailed. I don’t know why I’m shocked, but I’m here to make him face it. I hope it’s the right thing to do, but it’s all I have left. I’m tired of chasing his love, Granddad. It’s draining.”

  He moved around the room and grabbed a cardboard box that was on the table. Heading to the bookshelf, he began taking things off of it.

  There were some rocks that he’d collected and the man kept all of his childhood.

  A box of trinkets that had been his grandmothers, and a big book.

  When he pulled it from the shelf, an envelope fell from it and landed on his boot.

  Ethan placed the book on the table and picked up the envelope.

  It was addressed to him.

  What?

  That was…weird. There was no way that the letter should be there in his grandfather’s old book.

  So, he opened it.

  As he read the words from the man he missed so much, tears filled his eyes.

  ‘Dearest Ethan,

  If you’ve found this, you’ve come back, and I know that if you’re reading this, you’re chasing something just out of your reach. Know that I see what’s coming, and I promise it’s not bad. I’ve seen it in the smoke, and I approve.

  You’ve promised to become more like me, but I don’t want that. I want you to be you. There’s a deep well of compassion in you, and that’s a beautiful thing. You have an amazing partner in life in your wife. She reminds me of my Naomi. In fact, I am a firm believer that we repeat our past.

  You are me, and she is her.

  You were meant to find your soulmate. You were meant to be with her. From the day that you drew her at twelve years old, to the second you tracked her down, it was already set in stone. I don’t know her name, but I see her face, and it is one of compassion, love, and adoration. She will challenge you every day, and you will be a better man because of it. I only hope that you bring her to see me. I want to meet the woman who tamed the wild raven.

  She has to be something.’

  Ethan laughed as he wiped his eyes. Oh, his grandfather was right about that. Elizabeth…she was his soul. Before her, he was empty, hollow, and lost.

  Now he had peace, a family, and something he could be proud of for the rest of his life.

  It didn’t shock him that Timothy saw her. The day he drew that picture, Timothy kept it for a reason.

  He knew.

  Now, Ethan missed the man even more.

  Blackhawk went back to the note.

  ‘I know you and your brother aren’t in good standing, and I’m struggling to help keep his head above water. He’s going under, and I don’t know what more I can do.

  He loves you so much, and his past sins have haunted him. He crossed a line, but you dug a canyon. I hope you forgive him one day.

  I hope your wife can lead you back to your roots. They matter, son. Being part of a tribe will give you what you always sought. That approval is there, and you’ll find it in love.

  As for your brother, I know you may not believe this, but Callen will be part of your marriage. I can clearly see it in the smoke, and I don’t know if I should be shocked, but I’m not. You boys were always hellions.

  Be proud that you and Callen share someone so strong. Your wife…she will be tougher than any woman you’ve ever met. She will carry the weight on her shoulders, and she will give me grandbabies.

  Lots.

  And Lots.

  Of tribe.

  I like that part best. I couldn’t be prouder.’

  Ethan was amused. He could only imagine his grandfather’s face the second he saw that vision in the smoke. He was so close to seeing it come to fruition.

  Days.

  Timothy had missed it by four mere days. How he wished he could go back, give that forgiveness sooner, so Timothy would know his note had come true.

  Then again, it was Timothy, the Shaman.

  He knew.

  Ethan continued reading the dusty old note.

  ‘I lied to you, my boy.

  I tried not to let you and Callen know, but I was just as wild as a boy. In fact, I was worse. The stories I could tell you, but they will have to wait. You need to know that you’re doing the right thing.

  Be the Shaman.

  Be the man you were born to be.

  If you’re happy, you’re on the right path.

  I’ll be watching out for you from the other side. I can’t wait to meet your future wife. I’ll give you a little push in the right direction. I’m not getting any younger, and I’m running out of time. I can’t wait to see your son, and tell him about his father. That will be my proudest moment.

  Your future is bright.

  And I’m proud of you.

  Timothy Wyler Blackhawk’

  Ethan was confused to when the note was written. That was until he flipped back to the first page and referenced the date at the top of the page. It was a full year before he’d even come back to the rez with her.

  In fact, he’d only begun having the dreams.

  There was the push from his Shaman grandfather.

  Ethan laughed.

  “Granddad, did you make me seek her out?” he asked into the silence of the room. “Was I having those dreams because you did your Native-y stuff?”

  There was no reply.

  “Granddad, was this all because you got me onto the path?”

  He could hear the wind chimes out front going crazy and he knew the truth.

  Timothy had his hands in this too.

  Of course he did.

  It made him smile.

  “I love you, Timothy. I love you so much. You were my father. You were my mother when she passed. You were my day and night, and I will never be the same without you. I will be fine, but I want you to know one thing.”

  He waited, listening.

  “You were the blessing. While you think we were your gifts, that’s not true. You were ours. We will NEVER forget you. I’m proud of who I am, and that’s because you told me that being half-Native was better than being NO Native. I want to be you when I grow up.”

  Ethan knew what he needed.

  “Am I doing the right thing by forcing Wyler home again?” he asked. “Or should I just let him go once and for all? You can lead the horse to water, Granddad, but you can’t make him drink.”

  He closed his eyes and whispered in their language. Blackhawk had kept his word. He’d promised that he was going to learn the way of the Shaman, and he’d been studying.

  In their language, he sent the prayer off to his grandfather and the Great Spirit.

  In his heart, he got his answer.

  “I’ll go get him. If it were me, I wouldn’t want him to give up on me. I’d want someone to keep fighting for me—even if I was a lost cause.”

  The wind chimes sounded.

  Ethan got it.

  “I am going
to take more of your things home, Granddad. I want to put them in my office so I can remember the man I will be one day. Maybe not now, or ten years from now, but when I am free of the FBI, I will petition the tribe. I will be the Shaman. I will keep our last name alive.”

  There was peace.

  Finally, Ethan stopped being angry at his father. He was going to love the man even if he fought returning East.

  Oh, he’d teach him one hell of a lesson, like Gabe suggested, but he wouldn’t give up.

  They were Blackhawks, and he would fight for all of them—Wyler included.

  He grabbed a few more things, and he tucked the letter into the pocket of his suit. As he headed to the door, he hit the light.

  “I’ll be back, Granddad. I’ll be back.”

  With that, he walked out the door and toward the big, black fancy ride.

  Ethan didn’t forget where he came from.

  He couldn’t.

  He was a Blackhawk, and to him, that meant more than anything.

  Finally.

  It was all right in his world.

  * * * B l a c k h a w k - W h i t e f o x * * *

  Beneath the

  Bed and Breakfast

  Sunday Mid-Morning

  As they moved through the tunnel, it was silently eerie. There wasn’t a single sound to be heard other than their breathing and the crunch of shoes on the dirt floor.

  This wasn’t the most pleasant of experiences.

  It was dirty.

  Cob web-y.

  And warm.

  Ivan couldn’t imagine spending time hidden in there to escape being a slave. It wasn’t exactly an easy trek.

  In fact, Ivan had to hunch down since he was way too tall to be in that small confined space.

  It was a good thing he wasn’t claustrophobic.

  With Blue in front of him, they began moving wherever this damp, dark maze led.

  All he could hope was it ended soon.

  “I can’t see shit,” he muttered, as his shoulder brushed the inside of the one wall.

  She couldn’t either.

  Maybe they should have gotten some bigger flashlights before venturing into that abyss. The small one she had on her wasn’t giving off enough light.

  “Me either,” she said, her hands moving along the tunnel walls to make sure she didn’t stray off the path. Blue could only imagine what she was touching.

  It was hard not to look. In this case, she thought it would be for the better not to even peek.

  “A few more feet, and we’re heading back,” he stated. “This could go on for miles, and we aren’t equipped to be stumbling around.”

  “Okay,” she said, not arguing.

  He laughed.

  “What?” she asked.

  “I’m just used to Elizabeth arguing every damn thing I say. It’s nice to have someone actually listen and not fight me every step of the way.”

  “I don’t argue all that much,” she said honestly. “There’s no point, plus it gets you flustered.”

  “That’s sound advice,” he said, vastly aware of her perfume. It was pretty. She smelled like something tropical. In his head, he pictured a beach, sand, and her in a bikini.

  A very tiny bikini.

  Then no bikini at all.

  Ivan had to force himself to stop.

  That was all kinds of inappropriate, and he knew it. His mother would box his ears for being a letch, but it was so damn hard.

  “I don’t like to fight the flow,” Blue stated. “When I was in medical school…”

  He stopped her.

  “Wait. You can’t be more than thirty. When were you in medical school?”

  She went back through the whole explanation again of her ages in high school, college, and med school.

  He was shocked. When she said she had first aid experience, she wasn’t kidding.

  That was…amazing.

  He’d barely gotten through high school, and that’s why he’d joined the Marines. What else was he supposed to do?

  The mob?

  “So let me get this straight. You left the public sector as a pediatrician at the most sought-after office to be a Fed? A civil servant? You realize the goal in life is to MAKE money—not be poor, right?”

  Was she nuts?

  “I wanted to help people. I have the gift of drawing, and that makes me want to help.”

  “You were helping as a doctor, and you were making so much more money.”

  She shrugged as she navigated the tunnel.

  “Money doesn’t buy happiness. If anything, it makes you have more issues.”

  “Like what? No bills?” he teased.

  Well, that was nice but there were so many other problems it brought into your life.

  “You never know who really likes you for you.”

  “That was rhetorical, Blue. You didn’t have to answer.”

  Was she for real?

  “Sorry. I have really bad social cues. It’s likely since I was in college studying as a teenager and not out partying. I’m bad with people in general. That was another reason why I left medicine. I like kids, but I don’t know how to relate to parents. When they’d ask me questions, I had a horrible office-side manner.”

  He figured that was true. From everything she’d told him, Blue had never been a kid.

  That had to suck.

  As they moved forward, her foot missed the ground. In fact, there was no ground beneath her.

  She began to fall.

  She gasped.

  Ivan felt her moving away from him, and he grabbed her, pulling her back toward him. Immediately, he shined the light down.

  There was a hole.

  “That would have sucked,” she stated.

  Yeah, she wasn’t kidding.

  It had to be about seven feet deep, and dark.

  “Wait,” she said, as the flashlight caught something in its light. “I see something.”

  He did too.

  They pointed the light on it.

  “It looks like a watch. It might be the killer’s,” she stated. “It had to be dropped down there.”

  “We can go back and get someone to help,” he offered. “Nothing about this screams good,” Ivan admitted.

  “No, we can get it.”

  He stared at her in the dark. “How?”

  She pulled a rubber glove out of her back pocket. “If you lower me down, I can grab it. We can take it in.”

  He stared at her. “That’s a hole. If I can’t get you back out…?”

  She smiled. “I trust you.”

  Jesus.

  Why the hell did she have to say that? It gave him a warm masculine feeling in the pit of his stomach.

  Plus…

  No pressure there.

  “Blue.”

  “If that’s from the killer, we can use it to find him. You don’t want to go back and tell Elizabeth Blackhawk that a rat carried away a piece of evidence because you were hesitant to lower me into a hole, now do you? Besides, we have to keep going to the end of the tunnel.”

  “That was put there for a reason,” he said. “That was a booby trap.”

  She stared at him.

  “Actually, from the indentations of the floor around the hole, it was likely a subsidence that caused a collapse. I don’t remember reading that ‘The Underground Railroad’ set up booby traps.”

  He stared at her.

  “In fact, in nineteen fifty, the term ‘booby’ began showing up in early literature to mean stupid. I’m pretty sure the slaves didn’t think their pursuers were stupid. Dangerous maybe. Horrible definitely.”

  He laughed.

  “What?”

  “You’re something.” Even though she was buckets smarter than him, Blue didn’t talk down to him like some rich, smart bitch might.

  She spoke kindly, and as if she enjoyed sharing trivia she had picked up along the way. It was unexpected.

  “What kind of something?” Blue asked.

  “Never mind. A
re you sure you want me to lower you into that hole?”

  “Yeah, I only weigh one thirty. Can you hold that?”

  He could.

  “I’ll lie on my stomach, and I want you to jump that hole and sit on the other side with your legs dangling. I’m going to lower you and then cross. It’ll be easier for me to cross it up here alone. There will be more space.”

  “Okay.”

  She jumped it, and barely made it to the other side.

  When she almost fell in, he nearly dove for her.

  “I’m good.”

  His heart was pounding.

  “Okay, Blue, get ready.”

  He reached for her, and she grabbed his wrists. “You’re likely going to have to drop a foot or two. I hope it’s solid ground.”

  Yeah, she did too.

  Now her subsidence theory didn’t sound so good when in context to what they were going to do. In fact, it sounded really bad.

  If that was still a sinking subsidence, she could disappear in seconds.

  When she leaned over the hole, he slowly lowered her. She could feel his body straining to do it slowly. As she went down into the hole, she began focusing on the space around her.

  It seemed solid.

  “Maybe this is an idiot trap.”

  “Booby,” he muttered.

  “That brings up pictures in one’s head that are better left unthought. Since I’m the owner of that anatomy, let me have this one.”

  He laughed.

  “That’s as far as I can go.”

  “Please don’t leave me here,” she said. “This is right up there with showing up for class naked. I’ve had less terrifying nightmares.”

  Ivan got it.

  He stared down into her eyes and made his vow. “I won’t. I promise. I have you.”

  She let go of his wrists and dropped. She immediately started sinking into the dirt.

  “Ivan! It’s like quicksand!”

  He rolled to his back and began unbuckling his belt to remove it from his waist as quickly as possible.