Atonement: The Hunter Mercenary Series (Book One) Read online

  “On it!”

  They raced out.

  Stella was shaking and she refused to let go of him. Stella was getting them both bloody.

  “Honey, let me see your arm,” he said, getting her to calm down. When she finally stopped sobbing, she held out her wrist.

  “He had a knife.”

  Zayn tucked her hair behind her ears so he could see her face. “It’s okay. You’re safe.”

  “I heard a beep.”

  “It was the security registering he was in the house. If you didn’t start screaming, we would have been alerted,” he reassured. Yeah, they had high-tech for a reason. Their system was able to determine how many people were in the building by their heat trace.

  She was calming down as he held her.

  “I hate this,” she whispered.

  He wasn’t shocked. He hated it for her, and Zayn wished he could make it better.

  He knew only time and feeling safe would help her.

  Zayn carried her into the bathroom and placed her on the counter. Gently, he washed off her wrist. “He didn’t cut you. It’s the abrasions already on your arm. He broke them open. We’ll patch you back up.”

  “Thank you.”

  He went to work, and she didn’t speak.

  “I’m sorry I left you alone,” he said. “I shouldn’t have.”

  “It’s okay. You thought I was safe. Clearly, I’m not safe anywhere.”

  He still felt horrible.

  “I’ll never be safe again. How do I go back to my life? How do I even become a productive member of society? This has destroyed me.”

  He stared at her.

  He heard the mourning in her voice. She was having to say goodbye to her old life for the unknown.

  It had to be scary.

  “I’m sorry. If I could take that from you, I would. If I could give you back that life, I’d do it.”

  She stared at him. “Why?”

  He looked away to keep bandaging her wrists. “Because there are people in the world meant to have this life and the pain, and others who aren’t. You shouldn’t have ever felt any of this. I’m used to it. I’d carry it for you.”

  That made her heart skip.

  For someone who was just doing a job, he certainly didn’t seem like that was it.

  “I’m just the job. Why do you even care?”

  He looked over at her, his dark black eyes meeting her bright brilliant blue ones. “You called yourself the job, Stella, not me. Those weren’t my words. I’ve said and done a lot in my life, but I’ve never said that.”

  He fastened the bandage and did something he never saw himself doing.

  He left a gentle kiss on her injury.

  “You’re good to go,” he said, gently holding her smaller hands in his. “I’ll sit up and keep you safe. No one will come back for you.”

  As she sat on the counter, she was closer to his face than if she stood on the ground. She could stare into his eyes. He was so close to her that she could smell his body spray.

  “Thank you for saving me again.”

  His cheek ticked.

  “All in a day’s work, right?” he stated, giving her what she had already said. That was what she wanted to believe, so who was he to change her mind?

  Stella reached up and touched his cheek with the palm of her hand. It was warm, smooth, and he didn’t pull away. In fact, he mimicked the exact same actions.

  Slowly, he moved toward her as he lowered his mouth to within inches of hers.

  Stella couldn’t breathe. The curtain of hair fell onto her, and it stole her breath. She knew he was waiting for her to close that last inch of a gap.

  So she did.

  Her mouth found his, and she kissed him.

  It was done ever so gently as if she were fragile and delicate. Zayn lifted her from the counter and carried her toward the bed. When he put her down, she pulled him with her.

  It took everything he had to break that kiss.

  Deep down, he didn’t want her to feel obligated to do anything with him. This could be adrenaline.

  God knew she’d been through enough.

  Slowly, he set her mouth free. She stared up at him, her eyes scanning his face.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  “No. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I have to stop this here.”

  She looked shocked.

  Surprised.

  Then hurt.

  “I see.”

  “No, you don’t. You just had a traumatic month and you were almost taken again tonight. I need you to sleep on this. I need you to be very sure, Stella. I don’t just bed hop. It’s the ONLY thing of value in my life, and to me, it matters.”

  That hurt washed away. He wasn’t rejecting her. Zayn was simply giving her time to think clearly.

  He was kind.

  She hadn’t been wrong.

  “I hope you understand,” he said, fighting that need in him. For some reason, he was so drawn to her. For some reason, he wanted her more than anything ever in his life.

  “I understand, and I’m glad it matters.”

  Gone was the upset feelings and fear.

  “Next time, I won’t stop.”

  He was pressed against her body, and she could see what this was costing him.

  “So I’m not the job?”

  He closed his eyes to regain his composure. When he opened them, there was some hard-sought control. “You’re not the job. Today, I saw your picture before I even knew who you were, and I was drawn to you. I’m glad I’m the one who saved you. Now you see me.”

  That caught her off guard.

  “I would have seen you.”

  He touched her lips with the pad of his big thumb. “Thank you for that, but we both know that had I met you on the street, you would never have noticed me. I don’t live in your world. I live in the one no one likes—reality.”

  That hurt her heart.

  “So, next time, I won’t stop. Next time, I will take that one shot at something above me and my station in this miserable life. Now, I won’t—for you.”

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  That was sad and sweet.

  “Get some rest. I’ll lock the windows, and I’ll sit guard tonight. No one will hurt you. I promise.”

  With that, he pulled away and headed into the bathroom, leaving her there on the bed.

  Maybe he was right.

  Had she met him on the street before, she wouldn’t have seen him. Only, that woman was dead.

  She was gone.

  This was Stella’s new life, and she saw him.

  In fact, she wanted him more than anything ever before. With Zayn, she was safe.

  That she could believe.

  He’d made one hell of a sacrifice to prove it.

  * * * H U N T E R * * *

  When they returned back to the house, they were winded and empty handed.

  “Did you get a good look at him?” Zayn asked when he’d met them in the foyer. He’d come down the stairs when he heard the door open.

  “No, I didn’t,” Rogue stated. “You?” he asked Dakota.

  The man shook his head.

  “We tracked him to the end of the block. Odin,” Dakota began before Rogue cut him off.

  “His name is Kugsha.”

  They both looked at the dog.

  “Right, Kugsha?” Rogue asked.

  “Right, Odin?” Dakota said.

  The dog went to him.

  “Jesus! My dog is ruined.”

  The two men, despite the situation, found that funny. How could they not?

  “Anyway, as I was saying,” began Dakota, “we tracked him to the end of the block. We heard tires squealing. From the size of the burnout marks, I’d say a van. He had come with the intent to get her.”

  Zayn didn’t like this at all.

  Her words echoed in his mind.

  She wasn’t safe there either.

  “Tomorrow, we’re going to have to start quest
ioning Miss Harrington. She spent a month held and we need to see what she knows.”

  “You’ll be gentle, right?” he asked.

  They both stared at him.

  “You killed two people today, one by peeling the flesh off his dick, and you’re asking us to be gentle?” Dakota asked. “Do you see the irony in that?”

  Zayn headed into the living room and began pacing back and forth.

  “Uh oh. He’s going to put more holes in the walls,” Rogue said. “The Blackhawks are going to be pissed.”

  He was well aware.

  “Don’t do it,” Dakota stated. “Sane people don’t put holes in walls.”

  “I’m not going to do it. Relax. I’m in control of my temper, but now I have a problem.”

  They both waited.

  “I have more than a professional interest in her. I think I might have to leave. I don’t know if I can do this.”

  That was NOT what they thought was coming.

  “Uh, okay, but why do you have to leave?” Dakota asked. He knew that if they didn’t all navigate this together, then Blackhawk and Marcus Hunter would pull the plug.

  He’d lose his intel shot.

  “Because it’s going to cause a mess. I’m going to sleep with her, she’s going to figure out what I am, and then she’s going to walk away. I’m going to get all moody and punch holes in the walls and people.”

  They both pointed at the two they already had.

  “AGAIN.”

  “So you’re going to run first?” Dakota asked, taking a seat. “That sounds…cowardly.”

  “Forget it. What was I thinking? Here I thought I could be honest with you two.”

  He went to leave.

  “I walked away once,” Rogue stated. “I got scared, made a shit ton of excuses, and left a woman I was crazy about.”

  “Why?” Zayn asked

  “She saw through this. When she looked at me, she saw the real me, and he’s a nightmare. I’m a grown man with mommy issues. So, I did what every scared man does. I broke her heart and bailed. I’ve avoided her ever since.”

  Zayn felt better.

  At least he wasn’t the only coward.

  “Well, I fell in love with Elizabeth Blackhawk, the dark-haired beauty who was here this morning. She was Elizabeth LaRue at the time.”

  That had their attention.

  “I dated her for four months. I asked her to marry me.”

  “And?”

  “Well, she’s not wearing my ring, so figure it out. Better yet, in the middle of the restaurant, I got down on my knee, pulled out a shiny ring I picked up that day and proposed.”

  He tried not to let it bother him, but it did. Before, he thought it was because he’d been turned down. Now it was because he’d been a fool to do it because he was lonely.

  “Well, she said no, gave me a kiss, said she was sorry and walked out of my life.”

  “So you had sex with her?” Rogue asked.

  “Yep. A lot of sex.”

  “Do tell,” he said, grinning. “I like a tough babe in bed. She’s got to be wild.”

  He laughed.

  “Let’s just say she’s got a really high sex drive and really should have two husbands. She’s exhausting.”

  Rogue laughed. “I knew it.”

  “Anyway, I ran from the truth that I wasn’t ready to be married. I was trying to fill a hole in me that life had created. She was right to tell me no, and I see now that she was doing me a favor. I hated her fucking guts for so long, but as of late, I realized she’s my favorite person in the world.”

  “Why?” Zayn asked.

  He wouldn’t have been a fan of her either had she said no in the middle of a restaurant.

  “I’ve learned that she doesn’t do anything unless there’s a reason. She’s methodical. She let that bandage come off in the worst way for a reason. It kept me focused on work and not filling that hole with just one more mistake. She knew I’d figure it out one day, and I did. Then, I fell in love again.”

  They both leaned forward in curiosity.

  They knew he wasn’t married.

  “I was partnered up with Sarah Valley.”

  He pulled out his phone and showed them one of the pictures she sent him. It was of her holding her fingers like a heart.

  They looked at her.

  Then looked at him.

  “Yeah, yeah, she’s a lot younger and way above me. Trust me, I think it all the damn time.”

  “She’s beautiful with all that blonde hair and sweet eyes,” Zayn admitted.

  “She’s drop dead gorgeous,” Rogue said.

  “Yeah, and I left her behind to be here chasing Bonnie and bunking down with two men. Who’s the crazy one?”

  “Uh, you,” Rogue said.

  “Thanks.”

  “Why did you leave her?” Zayn asked.

  “Because I love her more than myself. I left her behind because as long as I’m obsessed with Bonnie, and ending her, I can’t be in love with anyone. Lottie Tipton is the sickest person in the world. She’ll go after Sarah to make me bleed. She and her partner raped and killed my last partner. I’m only here because Elizabeth Blackhawk thinks like a killer.”

  “You’re an idiot,” Rogue stated. “Welcome to the club of misfit men who are destined to screw up their relationships.”

  Wasn’t that the truth?

  “She texts me and emails me every day. When I walked out of her life, it was at work. I kissed her, told her I loved her, and then headed out. That was six months ago.”

  “And she’s still waiting?” Zayn asked incredulously. On the rez, the next man would be all over the heartbroken women like a hawk on a bunny. Eligible women were a commodity.

  This dude was loco.

  “Yep. She’s the ONLY woman who’s ever loved the mess I am, and if I can catch Bonnie, and end that quest, I can go home and marry her. I’m not worthy of her, and I’ve proved it by not being able to even message her back.”

  “WAIT!” Rogue said. “You haven’t even messaged her, and she’s sending you emails and texts? She’s either desperate or really loves you. Since we saw her, it has to be option B.”

  He slid his phone across the table so they could read today’s message he’d gotten after Charlotte Shaw’s coffee date.

  ‘I know you’re reading this, and I know deep down you can’t answer, and that’s okay. I know that you think you’re in a dark place, but I love you, Dak. I’ll love you like this, like you were, or even when Bonnie’s gone. I’ll wait forever. You are the one. If I can’t be with you, I’d rather die alone.’

  They both took a turn reading it.

  “Wow,” Rogue said. “I can’t wrap my head around this. You have a sexy woman who wants you, she’s waiting for you, and you can’t even send a freaking smiley face to her so she knows you’re not dead in a ditch?”

  “Nope.”

  “You are totally an asshole. She has to be so hurt by that,” Zayn asked. “You’re a cold son of a bitch. I thought I was a killer. You’re worse.”

  Oh, he was aware.

  “Preaching to the choir,” he said. “I’m twenty years, three months, and fifteen days older than her. I could be her father. Still, I love her and I know either way I’ll hurt her.”

  “So tell her. Go home, Dakota. You have a chance,” Zayn stated. “You could be with her. You have something that we don’t. You haven’t sold your soul to the devil yet. You haven’t killed people or burned that bridge back to her. Go the hell home and make her your wife.”

  He glanced over at the man, and Dakota was the oldest in the room. With age came wisdom, right?

  “I didn’t tell you so you could tell me to go home. I’m telling you so you don’t screw this up. You’re willing to run and why, Zayn?”

  “I’m an Indian. Newsflash. We aren’t exactly well respected. What’s she going to do? Become a doctor and then show me off at her big fancy gatherings? Hey, Buffy, this is my Indian husband. Oh, what does he do for a
living? He kills people. Pass the champagne.”

  That sat there between them.

  Because he was right.

  They were from different worlds.

  “You realize you don’t have to marry her, right?” Rogue stated. “You can have sex and date her. If it doesn’t work…”

  He stopped him.

  “I don’t sleep around. I respect myself enough that I don’t bed hop with anyone.”

  That was curious.

  “How many women have you slept with?” Rogue asked, trying to get in his head.

  “None.”

  They both stared at him.

  Then they stared at each other.

  Then back at him.

  “Holy shit!” Dakota stated. “I did NOT see that one coming. Talk about a twist in this fairy tale.”

  He didn’t flinch.

  “Let me get this straight. This big tough Marine has been to battle, and done how many tours?”

  “Four,” he answered.

  “And you have NEVER dipped your stick in the well of pretty flowers?” Rogue asked. “Here or abroad?”

  “Nope. I’m not going to sleep around. I have NOTHING of value in my life. I’m a mercenary. I kill for money. The ONLY thing I have is that one precious thing that’s not defiled. I won’t sleep around.”

  Dakota patted the big man on the back. “That has to be hard.”

  “It is. Trust me.”

  Yeah, today more than ever. Before it was irritating, but now…he was getting desperate.

  “So, you’re leaving because you have no control around her?” Rogue asked, pointing up.

  “No, I’m leaving because for the first time in ever, I know she’s the right one, and I can’t fit into her life. Fate played one hell of a joke on me. I saw her picture, I saved her, and now I have to leave her so she isn’t disgraced by me.”

  “Maybe you should give her that choice,” Dakota offered.

  “Thanks, Dad. Maybe you should send that poor girl a text message.”

  He shrugged. “You’re probably right. I’m a dick. Do as I say not as I do.”

  Zayn sighed.

  “I’m sorry,” Zayn said. “I’m bitchy and angry. I shouldn’t take shots at you. You’re just trying to help.”